Ep. 145: Calm the Chaos- a Transformative Framework for Parenting
Aug 8, 2023
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Dayna Abraham, author of 'Calm the Chaos,' shares her journey from sibling to parent of challenging children with vulnerable nervous systems. She discusses her transformative framework for parenting, emphasizing that children’s uniqueness should be celebrated. Dayna highlights the need for emotional connection over rigid academic success and reflects on her decade-long growth in navigating parenting challenges. With practical strategies, she empowers parents to build a supportive community and nurture their child’s emotional well-being.
Dayna Abraham emphasizes that understanding and embracing a child's unique traits fosters a nurturing environment essential for emotional well-being.
The importance of community support is highlighted, as shared experiences among parents can provide resilience and reassurance in challenging parenting journeys.
Deep dives
Understanding Baffling Behaviors
Parents often struggle to understand their children's baffling behaviors, especially those stemming from trauma or vulnerabilities. The speaker emphasizes the importance of relational neuroscience in making sense of these behaviors, providing insights into how to support healing in children's nervous systems. By focusing on the relational aspects of behavior, caregivers can transform their approach, helping children feel safe and understood. Sharing personal experiences, the speaker highlights the complexity of managing these dynamics and the necessity for empathy and patience in the parenting journey.
Transformative Journey of Parenting
The journey of parenting a child with challenging behavior requires significant personal growth and transformation. A key insight is that the focus should not solely be on altering a child's behavior but also on changing the parent's reactions and mindset. The speaker shares experiences of feeling overwhelmed and isolated but ultimately learned that embracing their child's emotions and challenges would lead to a more constructive relationship. This realization fosters an environment where children feel accepted, nurturing their self-esteem and emotional well-being.
Building Connections and Relationships
Prioritizing connection is essential in fostering healthy relationships with children. Instead of fixating on academic achievement, caregivers are encouraged to invest time in understanding their children's unique needs and emotional responses. This nurturing environment allows children to express themselves freely without the fear of judgment, helping them develop a positive self-image. The speaker emphasizes that establishing trust first creates a foundation for personal growth and effective learning later on.
Hope and Community Support
Creating a community of support for families facing similar challenges is invaluable for fostering resilience and hope. Through shared experiences and resources, parents can uplift one another, reminding each other that they are not alone in their struggles. The speaker encourages parents to lean into their community and utilize available tools and frameworks designed for parenting challenging children. The transformation stories from other families reinforce the idea that positive change is possible, offering reassurance through shared triumphs over adversity.
Ever found yourself struggling to understand and support a child who simply doesn’t fit the mold? Dayna Abraham's way to Calm the Chaos might be just what you're looking for. Dayna's journey from being a sibling to a challenging brother, to teaching dysregulated kids, and then parenting a unique child herself, offers a wealth of wisdom and practical strategies. Dayna has taken everything she's learned from supporting her son and now helps struggling families all around the world.
In this episode you’ll learn:
How Dayna’s personal experiences have led her to develop her Calm the Chaos framework for parents
The importance of seeing kids uniqueness as something to be celebrated, not changed
Why parents deserve exactly what our kids deserve- safety and connection and understanding
Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith
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