#54 - Should You Break Up or Stay Together?

Is there hope for your relationship, or is it time to cut your losses?

To have some ambivalence about a relationship can be normal, depending on what's going on. If you've been going through a rough patch (as all couples sometimes do) it can be easy to ruminate about all the aspects of your partner that you don’t like, and fantasize about what your life would be like without them. And then when you two repair the wound caused by the fight and you can let it go and start appreciating them again, and feel just as sure about things as ever.

But when you have repeated negative interactions over a period of time it starts to chip away at your commitment, and your trust. If problems keep coming up it can be easy to feel hopeless that things will ever improve. You may start to wonder if what you’re experiencing in your relationship is a solvable problem, or if it’s just the way that things are. (And if it's the latter, that it's a long-term reality you may unwilling to accept).

That pushes you into a space of indecision: Do you break up, or do you stay together?

Not knowing whether to stay or to go is absolutely agonizing. On the one hand you can look at your relationship and see all the positive aspects of it. You look at your partner sometime and still see how attractive they are to you, or you have a few good days or weeks together it feels like things are getting better again. But then something crappy happens again and you wonder if the negative aspects of your relationship are deal breakers. It's exhausting -- for both of you.

On todays episode of the love, happiness and success podcast I’ll be talking about different common relationship situations and whether they are "solvable problems" or not. I'll share with you what I see, as a marriage counselor, as being deal breakers for a couple versus "growth moments" for a couple -- plus some direction about what to do with each.

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