Brendan O'Connor Dr Tony Bates - "Secrets are like little mini-traumas"
Aug 31, 2025
Dr. Tony Bates, a Clinical Psychologist, shares profound insights on the weight of secrets in our lives. He emphasizes that recognizing our repressed feelings can lead to significant personal growth. The discussion explores how family secrets and the shame of confession can hinder emotional well-being. Vulnerability emerges as a powerful tool for connection and healing. Bates likens the journey to home decoration, highlighting the importance of being honest about our imperfections to foster deeper relationships.
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The Shadow Gains Power When Unseen
- Jung's 'shadow' holds our repressed insecurities and shameful parts that we hide away.
- Unacknowledged shadow aspects gather power and can erupt destructively if not owned.
Face Truths To Move Forward
- Confession or truthful reckoning helps people confront buried truths and move on.
- Speak the truth to yourself or another to unstick life and enable forward movement.
A Shamed Confession Ended The Ritual
- Tony recounts a childhood confession where a priest publicly shamed him for taking pennies from his mother's purse.
- That moment ended his use of confession as an avenue for unburdening.