The ikario Podcast: human thriving in the modern world People Pleasing Makes You Numb to Anger, Desire & Life
Aug 6, 2025
Oliver Robert Lucas, an expert in helping men overcome nice guy tendencies, shares insights into the detrimental effects of people pleasing. They discuss how prioritizing others' needs leads to emotional disconnection and suppresses true desires. Oliver emphasizes the importance of physical confidence and emotional safety in men's personal growth. They highlight the transformative power of martial arts in building camaraderie and resilience. The conversation also touches on navigating the complexities of desire and rejection, advocating for honest communication in relationships.
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First Fight Bonding Experience
- Oliver shared his first boxing match experience at Sacred Sons, fighting someone who had never fought before.
- Both found it deeply bonding and transformative, gaining primal respect and connection.
Bottom-Up Confidence
- Physical confidence builds foundational trust in yourself and others.
- This body-based confidence can translate into greater social and emotional confidence.
Combat Earns Instant Respect
- After fighting in the retreat, Oliver noticed a sudden increase in respect from other men.
- This respect was nonverbal, changing social dynamics immediately after combat.