Functional differentiation involves managing our responses and self-regulating, while basic differentiation addresses underlying anxieties and promotes resilience.
Non-anxious leaders should prioritize basic differentiation by taking responsibility for themselves, understanding their family of origin, and cultivating healthy self-definitions to create lasting change in systems.
Deep dives
Two Levels of Self Differentiation
In this podcast episode, Dr. Michael Kerr discusses two levels of self differentiation: functional and basic. Functional differentiation refers to a change in functioning, such as someone who decides to stop drinking heavily. While this type of change helps us to function more effectively, it does not address the underlying anxieties. On the other hand, basic differentiation is seen as progress, as it involves dealing with the underlying anxieties and becoming more resilient. This level of differentiation allows us to better manage challenges and triggers for symptomatic behavior, and it is achieved through doing our own family of origin work and taking non-anxious stands with those who make us anxious.
Growing as a Non-Anxious Leader
The main takeaway for non-anxious leaders is the importance of both functional and basic differentiation. Increasing functional differentiation, which involves managing our responses and self-regulating, is a good starting point. However, the long-term goal should be to focus on basic differentiation, which involves taking responsibility for ourselves, understanding our family of origin without blame, and cultivating healthy self-definitions. By growing in basic differentiation, non-anxious leaders can lead systems in a healthier direction and encourage others to do the same, creating lasting change and positively impacting the overall functioning of a family, congregation, or organization.
Dr. Michael Kerr, who studied under Murray Bowen, identifies two levels of self-differentiation. Here's what they are and why they matter to the non-anxious leader.