The Michelle Chalfant Show — Life from the Adult Chair

385: Changing Your Relationships Through Your Primal Question with Mike Foster

Sep 21, 2023

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What if everything you do in your life is actually driven by one question – a question that is unconscious to you but acts as the command center for how you show up in the world?

That question is what Mike Foster calls your “primal question,” and let me tell you, when I discovered mine, it was like my whole life made sense.

Mike developed The Seven Primal Questions system based on his research and work as a coach.

The idea is that we all have a question – like, “Am I safe?” or, “Am I loved?” – that we didn’t get answered in childhood and that we continue to ask as adults.

When the answer to this question is “yes,” we feel good and become our best selves.

When it’s “no,” we start scrambling. Our emotional reactions, compulsions, unhelpful behaviors and survival strategies (things like perfectionism and people pleasing) are all attempts to get this question answered in the way we want.

The cool thing? When we understand our primal question and the question of our loved ones, we can change everything about our relationships by healing our wounds, connecting to our gifts and intentionally answering each others’ question with a “yes!”

I LOVE this system, and I’m thrilled to have Mike on this show giving us a crash course in it as he breaks down the seven questions, their corresponding “primal truths” and “primal gifts” and how these questions can show up in our lives in different ways.

Listen to discover:

The Seven Primal Questions and what they mean for your life
How to replace your primal question with a primal truth
Why the flipside of your primal question is your superpower
How you can stop letting your child self run your life and live from your healthy adult self
How to apply your primal question in business and relationships

I have a feeling you’ll have some lightbulb moments during this show. I also have a link below to help you find your primal question if you’re having trouble figuring it out.

This tool is a GAME CHANGER for more consciously relating to ourselves and others, and I’m thrilled to share it with you! It gets down to the core of what makes us tick and shows us how to love ourselves and the people in our life better…and who doesn’t want that?

“In our early childhood, we get imprinted with a primal question…The primal question just represents our highest...emotional need.” - Mike Foster

“‘Am I safe?’ is really about survival…where security is really about, ‘Am I resourced appropriately to be able to protect myself and sustain myself?’” - Mike Foster

“[That’s] what children do, we perceive the world we’re in and then we make conclusions about it.” - Mike Foster

“The other side of the question is what I call your primal gift, and it’s this superpower that every question has.” - Mike Foster

"[During the first six years of life] we don't have discernment...we take it on as, 'It's my fault. I did something wrong.'" - Michelle Chalfant

"When we start attuning to our team members' primal question, we can really become a very effective leader with them." - Mike Foster

"What we need the most is what we want to give away to others." - Mike Foster

"Under every behavior is an emotional or feeling driving that behavior. But under every emotion and feeling is an unmet need driving that emotion or feeling." - Mike Foster

"A question being imprinted by trauma is just gonna carry a lot more weight to it than a question just imprinted through confusion." - Mike Foster

"I just see this as such an empowering tool that can help any relationship." - Michelle Chalfant

"I need to be really aware of how my question is showing up in my life." - Michelle Chalfant

LINKS & RESOURCES

Mike Foster Website

https://www.mikefoster.tv/

Seven Primal Questions Assessment

https://mikefostercoaching.outgrow.us/mikefostercoaching-2

"The Seven Primal Questions" (Mike Foster Book)

https://shop.mikefoster.tv/products/seven-primal-questions-book

Mike Foster Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/mikefoster2000/