#286: Connecting with Step Son, Trying a New Therapist, Replacing Bad Influences
Jun 29, 2023
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Topics discussed include connecting with a partner's son, trying a new therapist, replacing bad influence friends, difficulties of co-parenting and step-parenting, openness and honesty with a therapist, finding the right therapist and establishing boundaries in relationships, forging deeper connections and surrounding oneself with good people, debating the authenticity of a large snowflake, and accurate snowflake guessing.
Finding a therapist who aligns with your needs requires effective communication and expressing preferences.
The writer seeks treatment options for individuals with both ADHD and epileptic seizures.
Separating one's identity from their diagnosis is important when dealing with ADHD.
Setting healthy boundaries is crucial in maintaining relationships while still connecting with people who have similar backgrounds.
Deep dives
Finding the Right Therapist
The writer is preparing to start therapy soon and is seeking advice on how to find a therapist who aligns with their needs and preferences. They have had previous experiences with therapists focused on getting them to a better state without diving deep into their issues. They also found cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) unhelpful due to difficulty implementing the strategies. The writer wants to know how to communicate their preferences and find a therapist who employs different therapeutic approaches.
ADHD and Epileptic Seizures
The writer inquires about any research or connections between ADHD and epileptic seizures, as they have a history of both conditions. They mention that if not for the seizures, they would have been put on stimulant ADHD medication long ago. They are curious to know if there are any treatment options available for individuals with both ADHD and epileptic seizures.
Advice for Starting Therapy
The writer seeks advice on how to approach their first therapy session and communicate their needs and preferences to the therapist. They mention previous therapy experiences that were not helpful and express a desire for their therapist to focus on other methods of treatment besides cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). They are unsure of how to express this and seek guidance on how to navigate the therapeutic process effectively.
Separating Identity from Diagnosis
In response to the writer mentioning their ADHD diagnosis, the importance of separating one's identity from their diagnosis is emphasized. The writer is encouraged to view their diagnosis as a condition they have rather than something that defines their identity. The reminder that they are an individual and not just their diagnosis is emphasized.
Importance of Setting Boundaries in Relationships
Setting healthy boundaries is important in maintaining healthy relationships. The writer has experienced the negative consequences of forming relationships with people who have similar traumatic experiences, leading to unhealthy behaviors. They have chosen to cut off those friendships. However, they now find themselves with new friends who they consider 'saltines' -- individuals who do not share the same background. The writer wonders if it is possible to still connect with friends who have similar backgrounds while setting healthy boundaries, or if they should focus on building deeper connections with their current friends.
The Challenge of Leaving Past Relationships
Leaving past relationships can be difficult, especially when those relationships were formed based on shared traumatic experiences. The writer expresses guilt about leaving friends behind, but it is important to remember that it is their choice to continue down that path. It is crucial for the writer to prioritize their own well-being and surround themselves with supportive and healthy individuals. Building connections with new friends who can provide positive influences and help in personal growth is a valuable step in the writer's journey.
Exploring Deeper Connections with 'Saltines'
While the writer refers to their current friends as 'saltines', individuals who may not share the same background, there is still potential to cultivate deeper connections. The writer can approach these relationships with curiosity and a willingness to learn from others. By identifying common interests and finding opportunities to bond, the writer may discover unexpected connections that go beyond shared experiences. It is important to be open to the possibility of growth and transformation within these friendships.
This week we have questions on how to connect with your partner's son, how to talk to your new therapist about what hasn't worked for you in the past and whether to replace bad influence friends.
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