LATE BLOOMERS THE SHAME SPIRAL: How to stop feeling like a failure and embrace who you are
Feb 26, 2025
Explore the deep-rooted shame many face, especially those with ADHD, fueled by productivity culture and societal expectations. Rox shares personal stories of feeling judged and the challenges of masking, while Rich highlights the importance of compassion in relationships. Discover the vital difference between shame and guilt, and learn practical strategies to combat self-criticism. Embrace self-acceptance, rewrite negative narratives, and focus on your strengths—all essential steps in breaking free from the shame spiral.
AI Snips
Chapters
Transcript
Episode notes
Shame Feels Physical And Lifelong
- Shame in ADHD is deep, bodily, and tied to repeated perceived failures across life stages.
- Rox links school labels and lifelong self-loathing to chronic shame that fuels avoidance and self-criticism.
Productivity Culture Triggers Shame
- Productivity culture uses neurotypical standards as a measuring stick that people with ADHD can't meet consistently.
- That mismatch combines with rejection sensitivity to create a 'horrible melting pot' of shame.
Basement Flat And The Friend Who Helped
- Rox recounts living in a London basement flat in a pigsty during a depressive period with alcoholism and low energy.
- A friend named Alyssa marched in, moved her bed back to the bedroom, and handled the situation without judgment.