A parent seeks advice on how to handle their clingy 5-year-old who cries and begs them not to leave. The podcast discusses the challenges of parenting a clingy child, setting boundaries, and understanding the child's emotions. It also explores the situation of a clingy child who only wants one parent and offers resources for support.
21:27
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Quick takeaways
Children's tantrums should be seen as healthy and expected venting moments for the child, providing an opportunity for the parent to establish boundaries and set limits while empathizing with their feelings.
Parents should prioritize self-care and set clear boundaries for their child's demands, releasing themselves from guilt or giving in, allowing the child to express their frustration and anger while ensuring their own needs are met.
Deep dives
Reframing the Situation and Embracing the Storm
The parent is worried that their working schedule is causing their two and a half year old's clinginess, but it's important to feel confident in the choices made. Instead of seeing the tantrums as a problem, they should be seen as healthy and expected venting moments for the child. The parent needs to establish boundaries and set limits while empathizing with the child's feelings. By welcoming the storm, understanding the child's exhaustion and need to express themselves, the parent can become the confident leader their child needs.
Taking Care of Self and Emphasizing Self-Care
The parent should prioritize their self-care when they arrive home, setting clear boundaries for the child's demands. They can calmly and compassionately explain that they need to take care of themselves before giving their full attention to the child. The parent can release themselves from feeling guilty or giving in, allowing the child to express their frustration and anger while ensuring their own needs are met.
Addressing Mealtimes and Sharing Responsibilities
Mealtime can be challenging, and it's important to have realistic expectations. The parent can eat their meal while being present with the child and empathizing with their desire for attention. The parent should maintain their role as the leader and not give in to the child's preference for only their involvement. Both parents should share responsibilities despite the child's resistance, allowing the child to express their disappointment and frustration while still receiving support and care.
A parent describes the struggle she and her husband face with their 5-year-old when they try to go out together. Their boy cries and begs them not to leave, and though they’ve experimented with several approaches -- including “trying to be unruffled and say goodnight and leave swiftly” – none has worked. This mom says she finds the process exhausting and is hoping Janet has some suggestions.
For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books at Amazon and Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
Also available for download, her audio series "Sessions" -- recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
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