Five football clubs in 10 seconds, Ekitike's non-haunting & prime minister Martin Keown

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: some very niche feedback on Peter Drury's commentary, a never-before-attempted example of “X of Sport Y" hyperbole, Jonathan Pearce embraces some Champions League pronunciation, Hugo Ekitike and "football's worst hauntings", one of the swiftest commentators curses of all time, a PE teacher sacked for lying about their football career and a comprehensive first-hand list of Richard Keys’s mates.

Meanwhile, the panel decide what constitutes "the cavalry" in football and tackle a tantalising question about the resale value of a footballer's match-worn football boots.

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