Explore the hidden dynamics of parenting, where some fathers strategically feign incompetence to shift responsibilities. The discussion shines a light on the unequal burdens placed on women due to historical gender roles. This manipulative tactic may seem convenient but undermines true accountability in parenting. Embracing responsibilities empowers fathers and sets a positive example for children. Learn why it's crucial to step up and actively participate in family life.
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Gender Roles and Parenting
Traditional gender roles contribute to unequal distribution of household duties.
This can lead to fathers relying on manipulative strategies.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Take Responsibility
Fathers should take responsibility for their parenting duties.
Avoid manipulative tactics like feigning incompetence to shift responsibilities.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Step Up
Step up and fulfill your commitments as a father.
Set a good example for your children by taking responsibility.
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Because women can seem so much better at this parenting stuff, because historical gender roles have often decided for them that most household duties are their responsibility, there is a secret strategy that father’s have been relying on for generations: Pretend to be bad at something and your wife (or your mother or a well-meaning neighbor) will take care of it for you.
Feign like you can’t figure out the car seat? Here, I’ll do it.
Make a couple really bad dinners. Here, I’ll do it.
Act really overwhelmed. Here, I’ll hire a babysitter to help while I’m out of town.
Any dad can tell you, this works. Deep down, they also know it’s incredibly manipulative and unfair. It’s a violation of a basic principle of adulthood, too, because instead of stepping up for ourselves and our commitments, we’re letting someone else do it for us.
The Stoics said that we are responsible for blowing our own noses. We are. And when we became dads, we signed up to blow our kids noses until they were old enough to do it themselves. We can’t just pass these responsibilities onto our spouse or their mother or even hired help. We have to do a lot of it ourselves. Because we signed up for it. Because it sets a bad example if we don’t. Because we’ll be better and more confident if we get some wins under our belt.
The Daily Dad