Author Jeff Wetzler discusses the power of asking questions to tap into hidden wisdom. They explore reading minds, effective feedback through questioning, choosing curiosity over anger, AI in questioning, creating safe communication environments, and reflecting on feedback. Wetzler emphasizes the importance of curiosity, honest communication, and deepening connections through quality questions.
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volunteer_activism ADVICE
Soliciting Feedback
Ask for feedback using open-ended questions like "What's your reaction?"
Avoid questions like "Does that make sense?", which can feel patronizing.
question_answer ANECDOTE
Demoralizing Direction
Jeff Wetzler shares a story about using the question "What's your reaction?"
This question revealed hidden demoralization in a direct report, saving weeks of misdirected work.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Checking for Understanding
Instead of asking "Does that make sense?", ask "What do you think?" or "How would you feel in my shoes?".
To check for understanding, ask them to repeat back what they heard, but own any lack of clarity.
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The fundamental skill of asking questions to solicit feedback and create a culture of Radical Candor. Kim sits down with Jeff Wetzler, author of "Ask: Tap Into the Hidden Wisdom of People Around You for Unexpected Breakthroughs in Leadership and Life." Recorded live, the conversation explores the fundamental skill of asking questions to solicit feedback and create a culture of Radical Candor. Jeff shares insights from his book, discussing the importance of tapping into the knowledge and perspectives of those around us. They delve into the five practices of “The Ask Approach" and reflect on audience questions, offering valuable takeaways for leaders and individuals alike. Tune in to learn how to transform your communication and leadership through the power of asking questions. Get all of the show notes at RadicalCandor.com/podcast.
(00:00:00) Introduction Amy introduces a conversation between Kim and Jeff Wetzler, founder of “The Ask Approach” and author of “Ask.” (00:01:01) Jeff's Book "Ask" Jeff explains the premise of his book and the importance of tapping into the hidden wisdom of those around us. (00:02:50) The Desire to Read Minds The common desire to read minds and how asking questions effectively achieves this. (00:04:00) Misinterpretations and Feedback The challenges of interpreting facial expressions and the importance of asking directly. (00:05:08) Ruinous Empathy The concept of ruinous empathy and the reasons people withhold valuable feedback. (00:08:14) The Importance of Commitment Conversations The need for clear commitment conversations in management and leadership. (00:11:11) The Certainty Loop The concept of the certainty loop, and how assumptions shape perceptions and limit curiosity. (00:13:01) Expanding the Repertoire of Questions The need for a variety of questions to uncover deeper insights and perspectives. (00:14:30) Strategies for Quality Questions Strategies for posing quality questions and highlights the importance of soliciting feedback. (00:17:28) Inviting Critical Feedback The importance of explicitly inviting critical feedback and how to respond to it constructively. (00:19:22) Checking for Understanding Better ways to check for understanding without sounding patronizing. (00:23:04) Handling Emotional Responses The value of curiosity in handling emotional responses and moving towards Radical Candor. (00:25:32) Listening to Learn The concept of listening to learn, focusing on content, emotion, and action. (00:28:04) Choosing Curiosity Curiosity as a choice and foundational step in the ASK approach, which focuses on learning from others. (00:29:44) Making It Safe Strategies to make it safe for others to share their thoughts and the role of psychological safety. (00:33:40) Pose Quality Questions Differentiating between clumsy and quality questions, and asking questions that seek to understand others genuinely. (00:39:04) Listen to Learn Listening effectively not just for content, but also the emotion and action in the words. (00:40:37) Reflect and Reconnect Reflecting on feedback and reconnecting with the person who provided it to ensure clarity and appreciation. (00:43:32) Conclusion
Radical Candor: Communication at Work 