Ep 81: Life as a Neurodivergent Couple w/Special Guest Grey!
Aug 4, 2022
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Fiancé Grey joins the host to talk about navigating life as a neurodivergent couple, including their ADHD diagnoses and communication styles influenced by past traumas. They discuss the impact of sensitivities, medication side effects, and the perception of neurodivergent conditions. They also emphasize the importance of open communication, seeking couples therapy, and asking your partner about their needs in a neurodivergent relationship.
Interoception challenges in autistic individuals can lead to difficulty in detecting changes like fevers.
Communication in neurodivergent relationships requires patience, understanding, and open dialogue.
Having a diagnosis for neurodivergence can provide valuable self-understanding and facilitate relationship dynamics.
Deep dives
The Difficulty of Noticing Physical Symptoms in Autism
Some autistic individuals may have trouble sensing physical symptoms such as fevers due to challenges with interoception, the ability to pick up on body cues and signals. This can lead to a lack of awareness or suspicion of being sick, including running a fever. Autistic individuals may have differences in how they process and perceive bodily sensations, and this can impact their ability to detect changes like fevers. However, it's important to note that experiences can vary among autistic individuals, and not everyone will have the same difficulties with interoception.
Navigating Communication in Neurodivergent Relationships
Communication in neurodivergent relationships can sometimes be tricky, particularly when different communication styles are at play. It's important for partners to have patience and understanding for each other's unique ways of communicating. This can involve recognizing and accepting differences in communication preferences, finding common ground, and openly discussing individual needs and expectations. It's beneficial for partners to maintain open lines of communication, being willing to actively listen, respect each other's perspectives, and adapt communication strategies as needed to foster understanding and harmony in the relationship.
Supporting Neurotypical Partners in Relationships with Autistic Individuals
In relationships where one partner is neurotypical and the other is autistic, it's essential to have patience, understanding, and open dialogue. Neurotypical partners can support their autistic partners by actively seeking to understand their unique needs, seeking input and insights from their partner on how they can offer the best support, as well as avoiding placing unrealistic expectations on their partner. Prioritizing empathy, patience, and open communication can foster a stronger and more harmonious relationship overall.
Different communication styles and the need for therapy
The podcast discusses how the hosts have different communication styles, with one person wanting to work things out immediately and the other needing time and space to process. They recognize that their divergent styles have led to arguments and believe that couples therapy could help facilitate better communication. They emphasize the importance of seeking therapy proactively, even before relationship troubles arise. They also acknowledge that past traumas and neurodivergence play a role in their relationship dynamics.
The benefits of knowing one's neurodivergence
The hosts share their experiences and perspectives on the significance of having a diagnosis for neurodivergence. They highlight the value of having a label and understanding oneself better. They discuss the impact of being undiagnosed earlier in life and the challenges it can present in relationships. They reflect on the differences in their communication styles, as well as the guilt and resentment that can arise from not receiving a diagnosis sooner. They also stress the importance of acknowledging the limitations of societal views and fostering self-acceptance.
That’s right! My fiancé Grey joins me on this episode to talk about how we navigate life as a ND couple. We also answer some listener questions submitted on IG. It’s a long one but a fun one - I hope you enjoy! If you’d like to reach out you can email me at ohthatsjustmyautism@gmail.com or find me on IG @oh.thatsjustmyautism. If you want to help support the pod and get some perks in return, you can join the Patreon at patreon.com/ohthatsjustmyautism 😊
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