Eps 119 Solo Show - Deconstructing Natural Consequences and Personal Responsibility

Intro Sharing:

• Thank you, listeners!!
• Honored to serve you…
• Mother’s Journey recap – Seattle, Portland, Boise
• Orange County, East Hampton, St. Paul – 2018 Mother’s Journey locations
• Boldly Embody Life – Krista Petty Raimer, Grace, Elevate
• When I am a yes to trusting, surrender and presence is already there
• Visioning for 2018

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Content:

Personal Responsibility and Natural Consequences

• Natural consequences are what happens when we stay out of the way – they occur when we let things unfold
• What do we want most for our kids? What are our desired outcomes for this whole process of parenting?
• Reference to a poll on my personal FB page
• Who lets their 14 year old daughter hang out in her room with her boyfriend?
• Two lists activity from Positive Discipline class
• The only place that our kids can develop life skills is inside of experience… and in relationship with a healthy adults supports that as well…
• Their experiences inspire and inform future decisions
• There is a lot learning that we are robbing our children of because we are getting in the way
• Parents internal experience takes over
• Mindfulness matters when we are supporting our kids in developing personal responsibility
• Natural consequences happens when adults don’t get in the way
• This is a dance – boundaries are respectful kids need them, we need them
• Kids need to feel the tension
• Mistakes allow natural consequences – when we let them feel the consequences that show up, that we aren’t IMPOSING there is lots of room to learn
• Example – homework
• Help them to expand their perspective of what THEY want
• Check your assumptions… and check in with your child
• Humans LONG to be listened to, seen
• Kids learn personal responsibility through experiencing having the opportunity to BE personally responsible
• What matters is the relationship – bonded in unconditional love and mutual respect
• Allow the natural consequence the power that they have
• Our kids want to feel connected, as though they matter and that they have influence
• Tools: co-creating routines and agreements, loosen up, ask questions, check your unspoken messaging, family meetings
• joyfulcourage.com/family-meeting-ecourse
• We all want our kids to grow into cooperative, contributing adult living good lives
• What already exists when they make mistakes is powerful!

Coming up next week – talking with Robin Sabbag about raising a teen daughter.

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