How Unsafe People Erase Your Reality And Safe People Restore It

In Part 2 of this story, we pick up right where the alligator encounter left off — not with danger, but with the emotional aftershock that followed.

My body was still shaking, adrenaline pumping, breath unsteady. I paddled straight toward my friend in a heightened state: frightened, confused, and trying to make sense of whether I had truly just kayaked over a mama alligator… or whether I had imagined the whole thing.

And what happened next revealed something even more important than the alligator:
the difference between safe people and unsafe people.

A safe person — like my friend — meets your overwhelm with curiosity.
“What did you see?”
“How big was it?”
“Are you okay?”

Her calm voice, her steady presence, and her willingness to believe me allowed my nervous system to settle. That is co-regulation in action. That is emotional safety. That is what a healthy connection feels like.

But if I had been with my ex-husband that day, the story would’ve played out very differently.
My fear would’ve annoyed him.
My excitement would’ve irritated him.
My reality would’ve been talked over, corrected, or erased.

I would’ve been told it was just a log.
I would’ve doubted myself.
I would’ve minimized my experience.
And eventually, I would’ve convinced myself it never really happened.

That’s what unsafe people do: they erase your reality until you no longer trust yourself at all.

Today’s episode shines a light on the power of validation, the necessity of safe connection, the neuroscience behind co-regulation, and why survivors of covert narcissistic abuse learn to silence their own experiences. Because when someone finally believes you — truly believes you — it restores something deeper than the story.
It restores you.

THE INFORMATION PROVIDED BY RENEE SWANSON, COVERT NARCISSISM PODCAST, AND CNG LIFE COACHING IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT TO BE USED FOR DIAGNOSIS PURPOSES AND NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE.

THIS MATERIAL DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL. RENEE SHARES STORIES FROM HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AS WELL AS FROM THOSE SHE HAS TALKED WITH FOR SEVERAL YEARS. HER MATERIAL DOES NOT CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON HAS NARCISSISM AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS MATERIAL TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION OR SUPPORT A CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE MATERIAL AND INFORMATION PROVIDED.

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