Ep. 174 (Part 1 of 3) | Longtime spiritual practitioner, gifted teacher, Tibetan Buddhist lama, and developmental psychology specialist Kimberley Lafferty integrates contemporary psychology and wisdom tradition in this lively, luminous conversation about the process of awakening, the evolution of ethics, and the extraordinary capacities that come online as we mature into later stages of development. What do developmental perspectives have to add to our understanding of human nature and to spiritual practice? Our meaning-making shifts radically as we develop, Kimberley says, and because of that our reality itself shifts. This is why communicating with people with very different points of view can fail so miserably—one person’s reality is simply not the same as the next person’s reality. We need to discern, what is their meaning-making reality in this moment? What is ours?

Throughout, Kimberley grounds the discussion in practical, real-life scenarios; she also shares intriguing research on later stage development that has found that as we mature, our senses evolve: our hearing evolves to deep attunement; our seeing evolves to witnessing, our capacity of touch evolves to embody presence. It’s exciting and inspiring to see the road ahead, to acquire new insights and tools to improve communication across cultural (and age) divides, to have the concept of bodhicitta unpacked so deftly and common misperceptions about emptiness corrected—and to witness Kimberley’s wise and zesty approach to life: “What connects us all is our luminous, aware consciousness,” she says, “and if we can lean into the messiness, I think we can find our way through.” Recorded October 3, 2024.

“Applying a developmental understanding and developmental education is essential to any situation that we have.”

Topics & Time Stamps – Part 1

• Introducing Kimberley Lafferty, teacher-practitioner specializing in developmental psychology and Indo-Tibetan Buddhism (01:02)
• What drew Kimberley into Buddhism? Suffering! And an awakening experience (02:36)
• The Dalai Lama’s path is what spoke to Kimberley’s feeling of losing her compass and Integral Theory kept her grounded in modernity (07:11)
• The 3 interpenetrating principal paths of Tibetan Buddhism: ethics, bodhicitta (the path of the warrior heart), and wisdom itself (09:17)
• Unpacking the concept of bodhicitta (13:54)
• Metacognition: an ability we grow into in the later stages of ego development (16:52)
• The richness of Tibetan Buddhism begins with the understanding that everything changes (21:37)
• How do kindness and compassion follow from a realization of emptiness? (25:50)
• There is emptiness and there is Clear Light, they are not the same (27:09)
• If emptiness is the canvas and karma is the paint: how do I repaint for the future? (31:08)
• Ethics and karma: everything we think, say, and do is the material cause for the next moment of our reality (32:54)
• Ethical training starts with be kind, do no harm, because God (or Santa) is watching (35:00)
• As we evolve, our ethics become more subtle and expand to include all people and the responsibility of becoming a light in the world (36:23)
• Stepping into our divinity, our gifts and creativity (41:09)
• Vajrajana ethics invite us to think about who is doing the giving, the recipient, and the gift (43:35)

Resources & References

• Kimberley Lafferty’s website: The Confluence Experience (Education, Community, Experiences)
• 12-month living immersion in the STAGES matrix with Terri O’Fallon & Kimberley Lafferty
• The Association for Spiritual Integrity (ASI)
• Vajrayana Buddhism
• Huston Smith, The World’s Religions
• His Holiness the Dalai Lama, The Art of Happiness: A Handbook for Living
• Ken Wilber’s Integral Theory
• Dan Brown, Buddhist meditation teacher and author
• Abraham Maslow, Toward a Psychology of Being
• Roger Walsh, Essential Spirituality: The 7 Central Practices to Awaken Heart and Mind
• Brian Daizen Victoria, Zen at War
• The A. H. Almaas Wisdom Series (Deep Transformation podcast series)

---

Kimberley Theresa Lafferty is a seasoned teacher-practitioner specializing in constructive developmental psychology and Indo-Tibetan Vajrayana. She leads multi-year, private spiritual education cohorts with the Confluence Experience, and co-leads, with Terri O’Fallon, the penultimate Minds I year-long developmental course of Stages International. She is an active Board member for the Association for Spiritual Integrity. Kimberley is also a wife and mother to a young son, living in a remote valley of the North Cascades of North America which deeply impacts her worldview and practice.

---

Podcast produced by Vanessa Santos and Show Notes by Heidi Mitchell