256. 10 Ways to Be a Good Partner (Even When You Have ADHD)
Mar 26, 2024
36:04
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Greg Carder, spouse of the host, shares 10 ways to be a good partner when you have ADHD. Topics include taking ADHD seriously, getting treatment, setting boundaries, promoting kindness, and fostering communication in relationships.
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Quick takeaways
Treating ADHD with medication is essential for managing the condition effectively.
Maintaining open communication with partners about ADHD struggles fosters understanding and support in relationships.
Deep dives
Treat ADHD with Medication for Positive Changes
Treating ADHD with medication is crucial for significant improvements in one's life. Research supports medication as the most effective way to manage ADHD, allowing individuals to enhance their executive functions and function better. It's essential to explore different medication options and be patient in observing changes, seeking feedback from others to understand the impact.
Understanding ADHD's Impact and Communicating with Partners
ADHD affects every aspect of a person's life, from work to daily tasks at home. Accepting and understanding this impact is vital to effectively communicate with partners. Learning more about ADHD and sharing struggles transparently with partners can lead to better mutual understanding and support in managing the condition.
Take Responsibility and Seek Support for Managing ADHD
Individuals with ADHD need to take on more responsibility for managing their mental health than their partners. Recognizing the need for assistance, seeking help, and investing in treatment like therapy and coaching are necessary steps. Effective communication with partners about the support needed is key to fostering a healthy partnership.
Avoid Parent-Child Dynamics and Embrace Self-Improvement
It's essential to avoid falling into a parent-child dynamic in relationships, where one partner overly controls or criticizes the other. Acknowledging personal weaknesses, apologizing, making amends, and focusing on self-improvement are crucial. Taking ownership of mistakes, expressing genuine apologies, and actively working on enhancing oneself can lead to stronger, more balanced relationships.
I’ve been married to Greg Carder for almost 20 years years. This man is the only one for me! But when I tell you we couldn’t be more different...
He's calm, steady, and methodical, and he doesn't mind mundane tasks like laundry. I mean, COME ON!
Through a lot of trial and error combined with years of ADHD research on my end, we’ve learned a thing or two about how to be a good partner. More specifically — how to be a good partner to someone who’s neurotypical when you have ADHD.
I’ve coached a lot of FOCUSED members on their relationships, and I see the same struggle: Either they’re not taking their ADHD seriously and getting treated or their partner isn’t taking it seriously and is dismissing their needs. Both ways create major issues in any ADHD relationship.
Hear me when I say that to be a good partner, you have to get treated for your ADHD. You need to take responsibility for your mental health condition. This part isn't optional.
Because if you’re not taking your diagnosis seriously, you can’t expect your partner to either.
In this episode of the I Have ADHD Podcast, we’re taking a deep dive into how to be a good partner when you have ADHD. I’m breaking this down into 10 simple steps that you can analyze and apply to your relationship.
These steps work for marriages, friendships, family, and business relationships. This episode has something for everyone who’s in a relationship. Period.