Ryan Holiday And Dr. Becky Kennedy On Emotional Vaccination (PT 2)
Jan 20, 2024
17:11
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Clinical psychologist Dr. Becky Kennedy joins Ryan to discuss emotional vaccination, coping with stress, educating kids about emotions, and her new book Good Inside. They explore the importance of relationships and regulating emotions, the ongoing process of parenting and self-improvement, evolving as parents and separating behavior from identity, understanding children's emotions and behavior, and building skills as parents while separating identity.
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Quick takeaways
Emotion regulation is absorbed through relationships and requires ongoing learning and evaluation of strategies.
Parenting and self-improvement are continuous processes that involve progress, setbacks, and growth, similar to yoga practice.
Deep dives
Emotion regulation is absorbed through relationships
Emotion regulation cannot be taught intellectually or through books. It is a skill that is absorbed through relationships. However, many adults were never taught how to regulate their emotions, which makes it challenging for them to teach their own children. The practice of emotion regulation is not a one-time event or a quick fix, but rather an ongoing process that requires learning, applying, and evaluating the effectiveness of different strategies. Parenting, like therapy or yoga, is a continuous practice that evolves over time.
Parenting and self-improvement are ongoing processes
Parenting, self-improvement, and learning are continuous processes that involve progress, setbacks, and growth. It is not as simple as reading a book or attending therapy once and considering oneself fixed or knowledgeable. Just like yoga practitioners who become addicted to the practice itself, the journey of parenting and self-improvement becomes the reward. The metaphor of a language is used to describe the process, where individuals may start with a limited vocabulary and skills in parenting but can gradually improve and communicate more effectively over time.
Separating behavior from identity and understanding feelings
One of the core principles discussed in the podcast is the importance of separating a person's behavior from their identity. The belief that kids are inherently good inside, but may exhibit challenging behaviors due to lack of skills or underlying emotions, can help parents approach their children with empathy and curiosity rather than judgment. The ability to see beyond the surface behavior and understand that everyone, including children, experiences various emotions but may not have the vocabulary or skills to express or regulate them, can lead to more effective parenting strategies.
On this weekend episode of the Daily Dad Podcast, Ryan talks with clinical psychologist Dr. Becky Kennedy on how we emotionally vaccinate, the ability to cope through stress, educating our kids on emotions and her new book Good Inside
Dr. Becky Kennedy is an American clinical psychologist who is founder and chief executive officer of the Good Inside company, an online parenting advice service. She has been called the "millennial parent whisperer" by Time Magazine and is a number one New York Times bestseller for her book Good Inside. As a mom of three, when she was first starting out, she practiced a popular behavior-first, reward-and-punishment model of parent coaching. But, after a while, something struck her: those methods feel awful–for kids and parents. She put together everything she knew about attachment, mindfulness, emotion regulation, and internal family systems theory, and translated those ideas into a new method for working with parents.