The Daily Dad

What Will You Regret?

Apr 10, 2020

02:39

Snipd AI

Fathers reflect on regrets and lessons on their deathbeds, urging dads to spend more time with their children, express pride, not take things too seriously, and be present. They regret not engaging in ordinary moments and failing to teach important lessons. It's never too late to make changes and avoid these regrets.

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Quick takeaways

One of the main regrets that fathers have on their deathbeds is not spending enough time with their kids.

Another common regret that fathers have is not telling their kids how proud they are of them and not being present in their lives.

Deep dives

Regretting not spending more time with their kids

One of the main regrets that fathers have on their deathbeds is not spending enough time with their kids. They wish they had prioritized and cherished the moments they had with their children. Instead, they often got caught up in petty problems and failed to be present. They realized that there was so much ordinary, wonderful time that they missed out on. This serves as a reminder to current dads to make the most of the time they have with their kids and not take it for granted.

Reflections on Regrets and Making the Most of Fatherhood

2min

On their deathbeds, fathers think about a lot of things. They think about the world they’re leaving to their sons and daughters. They think about how they parented. They think about the mistakes they made. They think about what they did right. They are warmed by the thoughts of their children, and, if they are lucky, they find themselves surrounded by them, the hospital bed serving as the final crowded table we have talked about here.

The question for you to think about today, on a day hopefully quite far from that moment, is what decisions are you making now and how will you think about them then? Think about what most dads regret as they come to the end of life: They regret not spending more time with their kids. They regret not telling them how proud of them they were (not doing it nearly enough). They regret taking things too seriously, they regret letting petty differences or petty problems loom larger than the love that they felt in their hearts. They regret not being present, spending all that energy trying to organize perfect “quality” time when there was so much ordinary, wonderful garbage time to be had. They regret not “engaging with the slime” because they cared too much about keeping the house clean. They may regret spoiling their kids, not teaching them the right lessons, not having the conversations that needed to be had.

Well, you’re lucky. Because you’re not on your deathbed right now. Because it’s not too late. Nor is it ever too early. Today you can adjust and change to make sure you don’t have those regrets—or at least you can seek to minimize them.

You only get one go at this. Learn from the people who have come before. Learn from your own parents. Try to get it right. Before you regret it.

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