Shameless Leadership 702: Work-Life Balance: A Patriarchal Social Construct That Holds Moms Back
Work-life balance is a social construct. It is an idea and philosophy that is sold to women as something to be desired, something to be attained, and something to aspire to.
The myth that work-life balance can actually exist is a crappy bill of goods sold to us by the Patriarchy.
As feminism has evolved over the last few decades, we have been told, “YAY! Women can have it all.” But we have been given no resources and no support. There has been no systemic restructuring (philosophical or logistical) to shift our expected full-time household and parental contributions as we take on other societal roles.
We have been conditioned that because we can have it all, we should go after it all. And then once we go after it all and fill every millimeter and pore of our metaphorical plates, we should also keep it all balanced in some picture-perfect mathematical ratio - as if our lives are as simple as some sort of formula or squeaky clean quadratic equation.
We are told if we have better balance, we wouldn’t be so stressed out all the time.
We are told if we have better balance, we will be better moms and our kids will be more likely to thrive.
We are told we are lucky to live in an era where we can work full time (if not more) and also parent full time - cramming 48 hours of work into every 24-hour day.
Because we are told this myth is possible, we are left to feel inadequate, guilty, and resentful when we cannot figure out how to make it work.
When we are working, we feel guilty that we aren’t parenting. When we are parenting, we feel guilty that we aren’t working.
When men set aspirational goals around work-life balance and do things like, say, coach their kids' soccer team, we say, “Wow, he’s such an involved father.”
When is the last time you heard someone say, “Wow, she’s such an involved mom.”
We just are. Involved, engaged, ON… 24/7.
If you feel like you don’t have a work-life balance, it’s because there is no such thing.
So, how will you make peace with this crappy bill of goods we have been sold?
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