#110 Are Arranged Marriages Outdated?! With Dr Amir Khan
Sep 5, 2023
auto_awesome
Dr Amir Khan, a knowledgeable expert in the field of arranged marriages, explores the involvement of parents, mental health challenges in Asian families, and breaking free from cultural expectations. They discuss the financial burden placed on the speaker as a son-in-law, excessive support from wealthy parents, finding soulmates, and the importance of compromise in relationships.
Arranged marriages are about finding a partnership where both individuals can support and complement each other, not just superficial aspects.
Having too many choices in modern-day dating can lead to decision paralysis, but compromising is essential in any relationship.
Society puts immense pressure on individuals to get married, but it's important to set boundaries and stay true to oneself in order to find a supportive and respectful partner.
Deep dives
The Expectations and Pressures of Arranged Marriages
Arranged marriages are often seen as a way to preserve cultural values and traditions, but they also come with various expectations and pressures. These expectations include finding a partner who aligns with certain criteria, such as job stability and physical attributes. However, it's important to recognize that an arranged marriage is not just about the superficial aspects, but also about finding a partnership where both individuals can support and complement each other. Mental health and the importance of open communication are also discussed, as the pressure to conform to societal expectations can often lead to mental health issues. Ultimately, the podcast highlights the need for more open conversations about marriage choices and the importance of finding a balance between cultural preservation and personal fulfillment.
The Complexities of Choice and Compromise
The podcast delves into the challenges associated with the abundance of choices in modern-day dating, and how too many options can lead to decision paralysis. Having too many choices can make it difficult to commit, as there is always the fear of missing out on something better. However, it is emphasized that compromising is essential in any relationship, and it's important to understand which compromises are acceptable and which are not. The key, the podcast suggests, is to focus on finding someone who makes you feel valued, supported, and loved. While compromises are necessary, it is crucial not to compromise on self-worth or allow someone to make you feel lesser than you are.
Navigating Societal Expectations and Getting Involved in Relationships
The podcast addresses the immense pressure that society puts on individuals to get married, particularly from a cultural perspective. It is highlighted that finding a partner and getting married is seen as a collective family endeavor, with extended family members often having opinions and expectations. This involvement can sometimes hinder personal choices and make it challenging to navigate relationships authentically. However, the podcast emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries and staying true to oneself, even if it means going against societal expectations. It highlights the significance of finding a partner who respects your individuality and supports your personal journey, while also recognizing that there will always be compromises that need to be made for a successful relationship.
The Pressure and Expectations in Arranged Marriages
Arranged marriages come with heavy expectations and pressure, particularly when it comes to meeting the girl's family. The speaker discusses the challenges of selling oneself to the family and the girl, the need for a serious and conservative demeanor during the process, and the lack of room for personal expression. The arrangement setting may hinder the development of a genuine connection, suggesting that a connection should be nurtured before moving forward, meeting other family members over time.
The Financial Burden and Traditional Gender Roles in Marriage
The podcast episode highlights the financial burden placed on men before getting married, including the expectation to buy a nice ring, pay for the honeymoon, and provide a house. These traditional expectations, combined with the pressure to marry by a certain age, can be overwhelming. The speaker also discusses how being a doctor, while considered prestigious, does not necessarily guarantee financial stability. Additionally, the episode touches on toxic masculinity and the societal taboo around discussing mental health in the Asian community.
Pre order the book! How (Not) to Have an Arranged Marriage: The heart-warming debut novel from the Sunday Times Bestselling author https://amzn.eu/d/hbhGkY2
KEEP IN TOUCH:
🌍 My website - www.shivanipau.com
📸 Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/shivani.pau/
💌 Sign Up to My Community- https://shivani-pau.circle.so/join?invitation_token=a6a5fc957c68906e63ce78280f95b12f2554e07c-20f1f292-a601-4f50-bc6d-19f08e1d9d02