How to Make Consent Sexy (Not Awkward) l ft. Sarah Sloane

Aug 8, 2025

In this enlightening discussion, Sarah Sloane, a sex and kink educator at Hashtag Open, shares her expertise on making consent sexy rather than awkward. She emphasizes that consent is fluid and can be revoked at any time, promoting the 'hell yes' standard for enthusiastic consent. The conversation touches on teaching children about body autonomy, the importance of transparency in dating, and navigating relationships post-divorce. Listeners gain insights on ethical porn consumption and how open communication can enhance intimacy and connection.

Ask episode

AI Snips

Chapters

Books

Transcript

Episode notes

ADVICE

Consent Is Essential At Every Stage

Consent is essential to all sexual activity, including kissing and making out, not just intercourse.
Always ensure consent is enthusiastic, clear, and can be paused or withdrawn at any moment.

ADVICE

Make Consent Sexy

Make consent sexy by incorporating it into seduction and foreplay with playful questions.
Asking consent out loud can enhance attraction and prevent misunderstandings and rejection.

ADVICE

Consent Is Temporary

Consent is temporary and can change moment to moment; check in often with your partner.
Never assume previous consent applies indefinitely; active, honest communication is key throughout sex.

Get the Snipd Podcast app to discover more snips from this episode

Get the app

Join the SmartSX Membership : ⁠https://sexwithemily.com/smartsx⁠

Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse.

List & Other Sex With Emily Guides: ⁠https://sexwithemily.com/guides/⁠

Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides.

SHOP WITH EMILY!: ⁠https://bit.ly/3rNSNcZ ⁠(free shipping on orders over $99)

Want more?

Visit the Sex With Emily Website: ⁠https://sexwithemily.com/⁠

In this enlightening episode of Sex with Emily, Dr. Emily welcomes Sarah Sloane, sex and kink educator from the Hashtag Open app, for an essential conversation about consent, sexual communication, and finding partners who truly align with your desires. This episode tackles everything from making consent conversations sexy to navigating ethical porn, kink exploration, and the realities of dating after divorce.

Sarah breaks down how to make consent attractive rather than awkward, emphasizing that consent is temporary and can be withdrawn at any time. We explore the "hell yes" versus "hell no" standard for enthusiastic consent and practical ways to slow down sexual encounters for better awareness and communication. The conversation addresses how to teach consent early through body autonomy and why being honest about your boundaries actually makes you more attractive to compatible partners.

We dive into listener questions from Matt, who's navigating dating after an abusive marriage with no prior dating experience, and Christi, whose 20-year marriage is strained by concerns about her husband's porn use. Sarah offers guidance on video dating as the pandemic norm, using apps like Hashtag Open for specific interests, and the importance of yes/no/maybe lists for discovering preferences without shame. Timestamps: 00:00 - Introduction & Sarah’s Early Life 03:41 - Discovering Kink & Initial Curiosity 07:38 - Power Exchange & Emotional Safety in BDSM 11:59 - Consent, Boundaries & Clear Communication 16:13 - Self-Worth, Validation & Identity 20:46 - Shame, Judgment & Cultural Programming 26:17 - Healing from Trauma Through Play 31:03 - BDSM & Somatics: Embodiment Work 36:42 - Rewriting Scripts Around Pleasure & Worthiness 43:20 - Advice for Beginners & Empowered Exploration