LATE BLOOMERS FIGHT CLUB: The unspoken rules of conflict that could save your relationship
Jun 18, 2025
Rox and Rich dive into the unspoken rules of conflict in neurodivergent relationships, revealing how arguments can intensify when communication styles clash. They illustrate their points using a specific bathroom argument, shedding light on Rox's emotional intensity and Rich's logical processing. The duo discusses how misunderstandings can escalate fights, while sharing practical strategies for conflict resolution. With insights on how to repair and reconnect after disagreements, they offer hope for those feeling trapped in repetitive cycles of conflict.
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Bathroom Fight That Blew Up
- Rox and Rich recount a kitchen/bathroom argument about a sink that spiralled into hours of silent sulking and snapping.
- The story shows how a simple design change triggered deep vulnerabilities tied to ADHD people-pleasing and autistic withdrawal.
Clashing Fight Languages
- ADHD partners often process conflict by talking fast, interrupting, and feeling intense rejection sensitivity (RSD).
- Autistic partners often respond by shutting down, needing space, and processing facts, creating a clash of fight languages.
Misreading Escalates Conflict
- Misreading the other's fight language multiplies conflict by triggering abandonment or manipulation fears.
- Many breakups happen because partners interpret shutdowns as stonewalling and talking as overwhelming.