How to Raise Kids and Live Our Values in Divisive Times

  Chances are, if you're thinking of listening to this podcast episode, the 2024 election didn't go the way you hoped it would.   A lot of people are feeling scared right now. I've heard some people wanting to fight, while others want to hunker down. I've had both of those feelings myself over the last few weeks.   I don't usually wade into current events. My brain needs time to process and digest and preferably take in a lot of peer-reviewed research before I can decide what I think.   I tried to do something different in this episode: I did read a lot, but I only took notes and then spoke mostly extemporaneously. And now you've seen the length of this episode you'll know why I don't do that very often.  

In this episode we will help you answer questions like:

• How do our values shape political views and actions?
• How can we make sense of the way that liberals and conservatives prioritize different values?
• Is it possible that liberals haven't been truly honest about how we live our values?
• What kinds of actions can we take to create true belonging so we don't have to grasp at power?
• How can we create true belonging in our families, to live our values honestly and completely?

  I hope you find this thought-provoking and useful as we all start to think about the ways we can move forward - and keep everyone safe.  

These are the graphs mentioned in this episode:

Books mentioned in this episode:

(Affiliate links)

• Parenting Beyond Power: How to Use Connection and Collaboration to Transform Your Family - and the World, by Jen Lumanlan
• Belonging without Othering, by John A. Powell and Stephen Menendian
• Schedule your own Red/Blue conversation through Braver Angels

  Other episodes mentioned:

• 179: I Never Thought of It That Way with Mónica Guzmán and Lulu
• 114: How to stop ‘Othering’ and instead ‘Build Belonging’
• 221: How to advocate for the schools our children deserve with Allyson Criner Brown & Cassie Gardener Manjikian

  Jump to highlights: 03:50 References to Dr. John Powell’s and Dr. Jonathan Haidt’s work, particularly The Righteous Mind, exploring political views. 04:45 Explanation of Haidt's five moral foundations and their impact on political perspectives. 07:00 Comparison of liberal and conservative priorities around moral foundations. 08:36 Discussion on care, fairness, loyalty, authority, and sanctity in policies. 10:46 Exploration of government intervention, wealth redistribution, immigration, and in-group loyalty. 13:06 Discussion on understanding and addressing the underlying needs of both groups. 17:46 Examples of Social Security and the GI Bill’s exclusionary practices. 19:16 Discussion of economic disparities and the call for fair, inclusive policies. 22:38 References to sociologist Arlie Hochschild’s work on the economic story behind Trump’s support. 24:00 Examination of cultural and economic factors influencing Trump’s voter base. 28:50 Examples of identity threats leading to group cohesion. 32:30 Advocacy for listening to Trump voters to understand their perspectives. 36:39 Explanation of targeted universalism to create inclusive policies. 38:25 Emphasis on policies that promote belonging and equity for all groups. 47:03 Discussion on the need for a new vision of masculinity and racially integrated relationships. 52:04 Emphasis on men understanding and supporting their partners’ needs. 01:00:53 Health benefits of belonging and the need to address exclusion. 01:03:27 Encouragement for civic engagement and understanding diverse perspectives to build an inclusive society. 01:28:07 Jen’s closing message on creating a world where everyone belongs.