Ep. 253: The New Rules of Marriage with Terry Real
Jul 21, 2020
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Terry Real, a renowned family therapist, shares insights on redefining marriage rules for the 21st century, focusing on emotional intimacy, therapy methods like amago therapy, and strategies for diffusing negative patterns in relationships. He emphasizes personal growth, effective communication, and building intimacy based on good-heartedness and teachability.
Identifying core negative images in relationships is vital for resolving conflicts.
Balancing assertiveness and love in communication strengthens relationships.
Shifting to a 'us consciousness' mindset promotes unity and cooperation in partnerships.
Deep dives
The Importance of Understanding Core Negative Images
Recognizing and addressing core negative images in relationships is crucial for understanding recurring conflicts. These images, often exaggerated versions of a partner at their worst, can lead to familiar patterns of discord. By identifying and discussing these core negative images with compassion and understanding, partners can diffuse tension and move towards healing and growth.
Standing Up with Love and Setting Boundaries
Standing up for oneself in relationships involves a balance of assertiveness and love. Communicating needs and setting boundaries with care and respect can lead to more effective and positive interactions. By cherishing one's partner while expressing personal limits, individuals can foster healthier and more fulfilling relationships.
Shifting to 'Us Consciousness'
Transitioning from a win-lose mentality to 'us consciousness' can transform relationship dynamics. Moving beyond individual perspectives to a unified view of partnership involves considering collective needs and cooperative solutions. Embracing an inclusive and supportive approach can create a more harmonious and mutually beneficial relationship.
Learning Reconciliation Skills in Relationships
Reconciliation skills are essential for navigating conflicts and disagreements in relationships. Developing techniques to repair and restore closeness after disruptions can strengthen emotional bonds. Implementing strategies for effective communication, mutual understanding, and healing can promote lasting intimacy and connection.
Embracing Personal Growth and Relationship Evolution
Prioritizing personal growth and evolving within relationships can lead to transformative experiences. Embracing opportunities for self-reflection, learning, and change can enhance individual well-being and partnership dynamics. Cultivating a mindset of continuous improvement and adaptation fosters resilience and deeper connections.
Terry Real is a nationally recognized family therapist and author. Particularly known for his groundbreaking work on men, his work on gender and couples. In 1997 he published the national bestseller: I Don't Want To Talk About It, the first book ever written on the topic of male depression. Terry has appeared often as the relationship expert for Good Morning America and ABC News. His work has been featured in numerous academic articles as well as media venues such as Oprah, 20/20, The Today Show, CNN, The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Psychology Today and many others. He has been in private practice for thirty years and he is the Founder of The Relational Life Institute, where he teaches therapist trainings and workshops for couples. Terry's book, "The New Rules of Marriage" shares practical strategies for bringing honesty, passion, and joy back to even the most difficult relationships.
JJ Flizanes is an Empowerment Strategist and the host of several podcasts including People’s Choice Awards nominee Spirit, Purpose & Energy. She is the Director of Invisible Fitness, a best-selling author of Fit 2 Love: How to Get Physically, Emotionally, and Spiritually Fit to Attract the Love of Your Life and The Invisible Fitness Formula: 5 Secrets to Release Weight and End Body Shame. Named Best Personal Trainer in Los Angeles for 2007 by Elite Traveler Magazine, JJ has been featured in many national magazines, including Shape, Fitness, and Women’s Health as well as appeared on NBC, CBS, Fox, the CW and KTLA. Grab a free copy of the Invisible Fitness Formula at http://jjflizanes.com/book
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