Responding to Your Sweet Toddler's Sudden Aggression
Jan 30, 2019
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A parent seeks advice on managing their toddler's sudden aggression towards relatives after escaping domestic violence. Janet discusses understanding and supporting a child's emotional process and navigating aggressive impulses with empathy and boundaries.
12:37
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Quick takeaways
Child's aggression may indicate feeling safe to express overwhelming emotions.
Validate child's feelings and provide supportive space for processing emotions.
Deep dives
Child's Emotional Expression as a Signal of Comfort and Trust
The podcast highlights the case of a young child exhibiting hitting and aggressive behavior towards close family members after experiencing domestic violence. Rather than seeing this behavior as negative, the host reframes it as a positive sign of the child feeling safe and comfortable enough to express overwhelming emotions. By verbally sharing feelings of wanting to hurt others, the child is demonstrating emotional intelligence and seeking trust and understanding from the parent.
Validation and Support for Child's Internal Struggle
The podcast emphasizes the importance of validating the child's feelings and providing a supportive environment for processing emotions. Instead of focusing solely on correcting the behavior, the host suggests acknowledging the child's discomfort and fear, offering a safe space to verbalize emotions without judgment. By responding with empathy and understanding, parents can help the child navigate and release the internal struggles stemming from traumatic experiences.
Partnering with the Child for Healing and Growth
The podcast advocates for partnering with the child in addressing aggressive behavior by emphasizing collaboration and mutual trust. By openly acknowledging the child's emotions and offering guidance on expressing feelings constructively, parents can support the healing process. Creating a non-judgmental environment where the child feels understood and encouraged to communicate emotions leads to a healthier emotional development and strengthens the parent-child bond.
A parent writes that she and her 2-year-old son recently moved in with relatives to escape domestic violence. She describes her son as “a very sweet, empathetic boy,” and says that he has formed good relationships with his relatives. Lately, however, his behavior towards them has changed. “He will punch, hit, and bite” without warning and tells his mother that “he wants to make them sad.” She has tried to explain that this behavior isn't okay, and he agrees, but it inevitably happens again. She doesn’t know what to do and is looking to Janet for some advice.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on audio, FREE with a 30-day trial membership at Audible (adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
Also, her exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
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