3861 When Saying YES Leaves Your Spouse Waiting

It's a familiar story. The calendar fills up with commitments, invitations, and obligations. Someone asks, and the default response is "Sure, I can help," or "Count me in." Only later, the spouse looks up, realizing that those dozens of external "yes's" have quietly pushed the relationship down the list of priorities. It's not malicious or neglectful — far from it. It's often a simple lack of boundaries and margin that leads to a spouse being present for everyone else but not fully present for the person who matters most. When saying YES leaves your spouse waiting.

This pattern quietly threatens your marriage, especially during busy seasons like the holidays, when demands and distractions multiply exponentially.

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When you say yes to too many people, your spouse can feel sidelined, forgotten, or less important—not because you don't love them, but because your time and energy have no room left for them. All you're giving them are the leftovers. And if you have a spouse who doesn't like leftovers, you are in for a rude awakening!

So how do you avoid this trap?

How do you keep your marriage strong and connected when your calendar is bursting and requests come nonstop?

You've got to guard your margins so you can honor you and your spouse.

The K.I.S.S. ~ Guard your margins!

Here are three practical moves to help you guard your margins and honor your spouse during the busiest times of year:

1. Audit Your Commitments Before Saying Yes

Before accepting every invitation or request for help, take a moment to check in with your calendar — and yourself. How much free time do you actually have? More importantly, how much "quality time margin" do you want to preserve with your spouse? Create a mental or physical checklist: Will this commitment add meaning or will it drain the limited time you and your spouse have? Ask yourself if you're saying yes out of obligation, guilt, or habit rather than genuine enthusiasm. When you hesitate, that's a red flag. Learning to say "no" or "not this time" is an act of respect to your marriage.

2. Schedule "Protected Time" on Your Calendar

Don't let spouse time just happen if your life feels like a runaway train. Block it out deliberately. Whether it's a night away, a dinner after the kids are asleep, or simply an hour uninterrupted on the couch — mark it as non-negotiable. Treat it with the same seriousness you give business meetings or social engagements. If your spouse sees that their time is sacred, it reduces feelings of neglect and strengthens your connection. This kind of intentional scheduling also sets clear boundaries for others about when you are unavailable.

3. Communicate Your Priorities Openly and Early

Telling your spouse you're swamped only after they feel ignored is too late. Instead, have honest conversations before the busy season starts. That's why we're talking about it NOW! Share your commitments openly and ask for their input on what times need to be reserved for your relationship. Make adjustments proactively rather than reacting when resentment sneaks in. When your spouse feels heard and you show you're fighting for their time, it builds trust and partnership even when life's demands are high.

When you guard your margins and prioritize your relationship amid the chaos, you protect something priceless.

Marriage is one of life's deepest gifts—both partners flourish when you carve out time not just to be "in the same space" but to truly be together. You're better together.

The holidays and busy seasons will come and go, but consistent, intentional choices about where you invest your energy set the tone for a marriage that thrives rather than just survives.

Take a breath before you say "yes" next time. Ask yourself if this commitment is pushing your spouse further away or drawing you closer. Being better together means making space for each other in the middle of life's noise.

That's a commitment worth guarding.

"Be present. Be incredible. Be YOU!!!"

#RelationshipBuilders #CreateYourNow #LoveAndMarriage

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Music by Mandisa - Overcomer

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Song ID: 68209 Song Title: Overcomer Writer(s): Ben Glover, Chris Stevens, David Garcia Copyright © 2013 Meaux Mercy (BMI) Moody Producer Music (BMI) One Songs (ASCAP) Ariose Music (ASCAP) Universal Music - Brentwood Benson Publ. (ASCAP) D Soul Music (ASCAP) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission.