Conversation is meant to reveal your attractive traits and proofs, emphasizing the importance of showing, not telling.
Being a good host, having warm body language, and establishing commonality are key elements of a successful conversation with women.
Deep dives
The Purpose of Conversation
Conversation in mating situations is meant to reveal your traits and proofs through verbal means, rather than making claims. It's about demonstrating qualities through stories, jokes, banter, and repartee. The subtext of the conversation is crucial as it signals your underlying traits and attracts women. The chapter explains how conversation is about showing, not telling, and the importance of understanding its purpose.
The Eight Rules of Good Conversation
The chapter outlines eight basic rules for having a good conversation with women. It emphasizes being a good host to make both you and the woman feel comfortable. It highlights the significance of having warm, open body language and establishing commonality to create a sense of safety. The importance of active listening, responding with validation or debate, and connecting with vulnerability are also emphasized. The chapter offers specific tips and a game to improve conversational skills.
Improving Conversation Skills
The second half of the chapter focuses on practical tips for improving conversation abilities. It suggests starting with non-mating conversations, like talking to female relatives or co-workers, to build confidence and practice. Progressing to low-stakes mating conversations in places like malls can further enhance conversational skills. The chapter also highlights the importance of aiming for entertaining and fun conversations, instead of focusing solely on an outcome. It concludes by explaining that conversation naturally holds romantic subtext, and its purpose is not solely to extract sex, but to establish emotional connections and attraction.
In this preview series, we go over each chapter in our upcoming book, Mate: Become the Man Women Want, explaining key takeaways and what to expect.
In Part 20 of The Mate Preview, Tucker, Nils, and Dr. Miller talk about the #1 question that they get from guys ("How do I talk to girls?" or "What do I say to her?"), and why it's not the most important thing to focus on.
Your traits and proofs (see past episodes) are fundamental to your mating success. Talking to women is just a way to reveal or signal those attractive traits and proofs.
They go over the different levels of communication and how to be a great conversationalist in this episode.
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