Sex, intimacy, and navigating boundaries in neurodivergent relationships with Lil Desille

Summary In this conversation, Clinical Psychologist Lil Desille and Developmental psychologist Johanna Badenhorst discuss various topics related to ADHD, sex, intimacy, and relationships. They explore the challenges faced by neurodivergent individuals in maintaining intimate connections, including difficulties in communication, sensory differences, and navigating boundaries. Annelil shares her personal journey and how it has influenced her work as a clinical psychologist. They also discuss the different types of intimacy, such as physical, emotional, sensual, and spiritual, and the importance of creating emotional safety in relationships. Overall, the conversation highlights the need for more research, support, and understanding in the field of neurodivergent relationships and intimacy. In this conversation, Annelil Desille discusses the challenges faced by neurodivergent individuals in relationships and offers insights and advice for navigating intimacy and communication. She emphasizes the importance of self-compassion and finding neurokin, like-minded individuals who understand and support neurodivergent experiences. Annelil also shares information about her retreats for neurodivergent couples and the holistic approach she takes in helping them strengthen their relationships. She encourages newly diagnosed individuals to take their time with the process and find support in online communities. Overall, the conversation highlights the need for understanding, acceptance, and self-care in neurodivergent relationships. Find Lil and her retreat here: https://www.neurokinnection.com.au/retreats and on instagram @neurokinnection

Takeaways

• Neurodivergent individuals face unique challenges in maintaining intimate connections, including difficulties in communication, sensory differences, and navigating boundaries.
• Creating emotional safety is crucial in fostering physical intimacy and navigating the challenges faced by neurodivergent couples.
• There are different types of intimacy, including physical, emotional, sensual, and spiritual, and each plays a role in neurodivergent relationships.
• Therapy and support can be instrumental in helping individuals and couples navigate the complexities of neurodivergent relationships and intimacy.
• More research, understanding, and support are needed in the field of neurodivergent relationships and intimacy. Navigating relationships as a neurodivergent individual can be challenging, but finding neurokin and building a support network can be helpful.
• Self-compassion is crucial for neurodivergent individuals, and taking the time to process and accept a diagnosis is important.
• Annelil Desille's retreats for neurodivergent couples provide a safe and supportive space to explore intimacy, communication, and relationship dynamics.
• It is important to find balance and engage in self-care practices to maintain mental health and well-being.
• Understanding and acceptance from family members and loved ones may not always be immediate, but finding support in like-minded communities can be beneficial.

Sound Bites

• "It's less about the time, the effort, the energy, the kids, and then the balance of those things. Like those definitely play a large role, but it's more neurodivergent specific."
• "There are so many different kinds of intimacy. So physical, which doesn't have to just incorporate sexual."
• "The prioritization of [sex and intimacy] comes later. So I've got quite a few couples that I've reached in the stage where we're quite comfortable with the emotional stuff. So now we're onto the physical and navigating physical limits, boundaries, desires, and fantasies."
• "Navigating different social and sexual climates."
• "There are so many nuances and specific things that we actually do struggle with."
• "It's about finding ways to cultivate a safe and healthy relationship."