Raising Good Humans The Stories We Tell Ourselves and How To Let Go Of The Ones That Don’t Serve Us w/ Elise Loehnen
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Dec 5, 2025 In a captivating conversation, Elise Loehnen, a New York Times bestselling author and host of Pulling The Thread, explores the cultural narratives women internalize about being 'good.' They dive into how feelings can distort facts and the oversupply of perfectionism that leads to over-functioning. Elise shares insights from her childhood about money anxieties and highlights the importance of distinguishing between stories and reality. She offers practical exercises to reframe narratives and encourages women to embrace their visibility while learning to ask for help and say no.
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Cultural Scripts Of Female 'Goodness'
- Culture programs women for a mediated idea of "good" that shapes behavior and self-expectation.
- Elise Loehnen shows this external script pressures women toward self-subjugation and performative compliance.
Inherited Scarcity Anxiety
- Elise describes inheriting her mother's scarcity anxiety that caused rubber-banding behaviors about spending.
- Therapy helped her catch the pattern and stop projecting that panic onto shared decisions with her husband.
Separate Facts From Stories
- Distinguish facts from stories by using observable, camera-like facts as anchors.
- When feelings arise, label the feeling as fact and treat the causal narrative as a story to interrogate.
