The Best of You 181: The Healing Power of Safe People (Not Just Safe Spaces)
Oct 23, 2025
Join Toni Collier, author and founder of Broken Crayon, Still Color, as she shares her journey of healing after deep betrayal. Toni talks about the importance of surrounding yourself with safe people rather than just safe spaces. She offers insights on building supportive friendships, learning to trust again, and the bravery it takes to ask for help. Discover how community can transform pain into connection, and find out practical steps to cultivate lasting, trustworthy relationships.
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Immediate Support After Public Betrayal
- Toni Collier received a shocking call revealing her husband's extortion and a video, and she immediately reached out to two close friends who happened to be nearby.
- Their in-person presence became the holding place that prevented the pain from crushing her and helped her begin to process decisions.
Wait And Consult Trusted People
- Rally a trusted group before deciding: call people for every question and feeling so you don't make big choices from raw emotion.
- Use wise, cautious pacing and consult your community before acting in crises involving relationships or children.
Safety Comes From People Not Spaces
- Toni Collier emphasizes that safe spaces are created by connecting with safe people, not by designing environments alone.
- Isolation can feel safe but becomes unsafe when your thoughts and emotions have no relational regulation.
