Marti Bledsoe, executive director of the Kids Mental Health Foundation, shares her eye-opening journey of burnout and the relentless responsibilities of caregiving. Sociologist Jessica Calarco adds insights into the societal expectations that position women as primary caregivers, often at the expense of their professional aspirations. They discuss the burden of managing health crises, navigating job searches, and the systemic inequalities that persist in caregiving roles. Together, they emphasize the need for collective support and policy changes to better support women caregivers.
Marty Bledsoe's personal experience illustrates how societal expectations force women into unpaid caregiving roles, significantly impacting their mental health and career progression.
Jessica Calarco emphasizes the need for systemic changes, like universal caregiver support policies, to address the disproportionate burdens placed on women in the U.S.
Deep dives
The Challenges of Caregiving
Marty Bledsoe's journey highlights the immense pressures faced by caregivers, particularly women, in maintaining their family responsibilities while managing their own mental health challenges. After resigning from her job due to burnout while supporting her teenager through a depressive episode, Marty quickly found herself overwhelmed as numerous life stressors piled up. The chaos of moving homes, navigating her fiancé’s injury, and managing her mother's health issues illustrated the relentless demands placed on her time. This situation exemplifies the broader issue many women face when they assume the default caregiver role and struggle to balance multiple responsibilities without adequate support.
The Societal Expectations of Women
Jessica Colarco's insights shed light on the societal structures that place disproportionate caregiving responsibilities on women, often leaving them with diminished support. She argues that unlike other countries with supportive policies for caregivers, the U.S. perpetuates a 'DIY society' that expects women to manage family care without relying on government or employer resources. This expectation not only leads to feelings of guilt and inadequacy among women but also normalizes the unsustainable workload placed on them. Consequently, women may find themselves subconsciously stepping back from their careers as caregiving becomes a primary focus, further entrenching gender disparities in the workplace.
Revisiting the 'Lean In' Narrative
Marty's experience challenges the prevalent 'Lean In' narrative that suggests women should pursue more opportunities at work to achieve success. As she reflects on her early career aspirations and subsequent burnout, it becomes clear that external expectations often do not accommodate the realities of caregiving. The conversation emphasizes the need for a more nuanced understanding of women's choices, especially when those choices lead them away from high-level positions due to emergent caregiving demands. Colarco supports this critique by suggesting that rather than relying on individual women to 'lean in', there should be systemic changes to provide better support for caregivers.
Need for Systemic Change
Both Marty and Jessica highlight the urgency of advocating for systemic changes that can alleviate the burden on caregivers. The need for universal policies, such as affordable childcare and caregiver support, stands out as essential for fostering a more equitable distribution of caregiving responsibilities. Current strategies that lean on individual employers to provide adequate support are deemed insufficient, particularly for marginalized groups who lack access to essential benefits. Establishing a strong social safety net can empower caregivers, enabling them to contribute to their families and workplaces without overwhelming stress and burnout.
Marti Bledsoe, a past guest of the show, recounts how she burned out, quit her job, intended to get a new job after taking a breather, and then wasn’t able to for over a year. That’s because someone in her family kept getting sick or hurt, she had to move twice, and all of the logistics and emotional support fell to her (because who else was going to do it?!).
These ever-expanding, relentless set of responsibilities is the norm for lots of women in the U.S., especially mothers. Sociologist Jessica Calarco joins Marti and Amy B to help make sense of Marti’s exhausting year of unpaid work and the forces that put her and other women into the position of being people’s default, unpaid caregiver.