Paris Lees, award-winning journalist and Contributing Editor for British Vogue, joins Elizabeth Day to discuss her memoir, toxic relationships, missed deadlines, and the power of compassion. They also delve into the significance of the book jacket's attention-seeking color and the importance of editing in writing. A fascinating conversation about identity and growth.
Paris Lees shares her journey of finding joy and creating a positive narrative out of difficult experiences in her memoir 'What It Feels Like for a Girl.'
Lees emphasizes the importance of empathy and understanding in breaking down stereotypes and prejudices faced by the trans community.
Paris Lees reflects on the complexities of relationships, highlighting the importance of kindness, empathy, and personal growth.
Deep dives
Celebrate Vulnerability and Overcoming Challenges
Paris Lees, an award-winning journalist and trans rights activist, discusses her memoir 'What It Feels Like for a Girl.' The book details her journey from a misunderstood child in Nottinghamshire to her experiences as a rent boy, time in prison, and finally finding her identity as a woman. Lees emphasizes the importance of finding joy and creating a positive narrative out of difficult experiences. She challenges societal misconceptions about trans individuals and hopes to inspire empathy and understanding through her memoir.
Embracing Sensitivity and Challenging Stereotypes
Lees opens up about her sensitivity and the challenges of being highly sensitive as a trans woman. She shares her journey of discovering her own sensitivity through therapy and realizing that it is not a negative trait. Lees discusses the stereotypes and prejudices that trans people face, highlighting the importance of empathy and understanding. She aims to break down misconceptions and promote support for the trans community.
Navigating Relationships and Learning from Failure
Lees reflects on the complexities of relationships and the difficulty of maintaining them. She discusses her own experiences with relationships and the challenges that arise from her unique journey as a trans woman. Despite past failures, Lees remains hopeful and emphasizes the importance of kindness and high standards in relationships. She shares her willingness to understand and empathize with her ex-partners, rejecting the notion of demonizing past relationships and valuing empathy and personal growth.
Being Highly Sensitive and Introverted
Being highly sensitive and introverted is a natural trait that comes with certain advantages. Highly sensitive people are more perceptive to detail, notice things others may not, and have a heightened ability to feel emotions. They tend to pay attention to their clothing preferences and seek comfort in their everyday lives. Highly sensitive individuals often excel in creative fields like writing, teaching, therapy, and art. While being highly sensitive may have its challenges, it is crucial to see it as a unique and valuable trait.
Struggles with Relationships and Self-sabotage
Paris opens up about her struggles with relationships and self-sabotage. She reflects on the toxic dynamics and low self-esteem that have affected her romantic relationships in the past. Paris recognizes her need for external validation and the fear of not being good enough. She acknowledges her own toxic behaviors and the impact of unresolved issues with her father. Despite these challenges, Paris has gained self-awareness and is committed to personal growth and bringing a different energy to future relationships.
Today, my guest is the absolute PEACH of a human that is Paris Lees. Paris is an award-winning journalist and a Contributing Editor for British Vogue. She was the first trans woman to present on BBC Radio 1 and Channel 4 and the first to appear on Question Time. Her recently published memoir, What It Feels Like For A Girl, is the uniquely told, semi-fictionalised story of her childhood in Nottinghamshire - which included a spell as a rent boy and an eight-month prison sentence for armed robbery - and the refuge she found in partying, music and, eventually, books.
Paris joins me to talk about everything from dating and failed relationships to missed deadlines and trans rights. Plus we discuss what it feels like to be a highly sensitive person and how this self-perceived 'failure' has actually turned into one of her biggest strengths.
*
Buy Paris's memoir, What It Feels Like For A Girl, here
*
My new novel, Magpie, is out on 2nd September. I'd love it if you felt like pre-ordering as it really helps authors! You can do that here.
*
How To Fail With Elizabeth Day is hosted by Elizabeth Day, produced by Naomi Mantin and Chris Sharp. We love hearing from you. To contact us, email howtofailpod@gmail.com