The High Performance Podcast

How to Stop Being Too Nice to People

117 snips
Sep 19, 2025
Discover the fine line between being nice and being kind, and why true kindness often involves honesty and boundaries. Learn from examples of radical candor and how to become a 'disagreeable giver' for more effective feedback. Gain practical tips on inviting honest feedback, enforcing boundaries, and cultivating self-compassion. This guide encourages moving away from people-pleasing to a place of authentic kindness where self-respect thrives alongside compassion.
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INSIGHT

Nice Vs Kind Distinction

  • Being nice often means avoiding hard truths while being kind requires honest action that helps someone long-term.
  • Kindness can involve discomfort, boundaries, and difficult conversations to serve others' real interests.
ANECDOTE

Early TV Lesson On Being Too Nice

  • Jake recalled his early TV days where constant niceness led to being overloaded with others' tasks.
  • His boss told him he'd taught people he comes second by always putting others first.
ADVICE

Make Feedback Professional Not Personal

  • Challenge behavior professionally and base criticism on facts rather than attacking the person.
  • Use honesty to build durable trust rather than avoiding necessary uncomfortable feedback.
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