Adam Lane Smith - What Every Man Should Know About Attachment—And What Redpill Gets Wrong

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Dec 11, 2023

Adam Lane Smith, an expert in attachment theory, discusses the importance of attachment in relationships. He explores secure attachment signs, the impact of anxious and avoidant attachment styles, and how 'nice guys' can move towards secure attachment. The podcast also delves into modern dating, MGTOW and avoidant attachment, and the loss of mature masculinity throughout history.

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ANECDOTE

Defining Moment in Prison

Adam Lane Smith recounts a pivotal moment working with a gang member in prison.
This experience solidified his understanding of how childhood experiences shape one's beliefs about love and safety.

INSIGHT

The Draw of Attachment Theory

Adam Lane Smith was drawn to attachment theory because it addressed the root causes of psychological issues.
He found it explained anxieties and depressions where traditional psychology couldn't.

INSIGHT

Defining Attachment

Attachment is how we learn to connect, give/receive love, and feel safe, shaped by childhood caregiver interactions.
Secure attachment stems from cooperative caregivers, while insecure attachment arises from feelings of burden or neglect.

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Talking points: redpill, dating, relationships, mindset, culture, attachment

Adam's been making waves recently with his no-nonsense yet deeply considerate approach to the insanity that is modern relationships. This convo was centered around Adam's expertise in attachment theory—aka the way you as a child learn to get safety and love. You can probably guess that it's kind of a big deal. Dig in, team.

(00:00:00) - Intro and Adam’s defining moment
(00:03:07) - What drew Adam to attachment theory
(00:06:16) - Adam’s definition of attachment, and why it’s important for individuals
(00:10:10) - The signs of secure attachment in men and women
(00:16:34) - More insight on anxious and avoidant attachment styles
(00:19:42) - Where do Nice Guys fit on the attachment spectrum, and how do they move towards secure attachment?
(00:29:47) - The sad and dysfunctional truth about how some men get out of anxious attachment
(00:36:33) - The mess that is modern dating, seen through the attachment lens
(00:44:19) - MGTOW and avoidant attachment, and “clear pill”
(00:52:11) - The loss of mature masculinity goes way, way back
(00:59:38) - The contributing factors to mature masculinity

Adam Lane Smith is a transformative force in the field of personal development and relationships. Leveraging years of professional experience as a licensed psychotherapist, he has honed his craft as a highly sought-after Attachment Specialist and personal coach. From hardworking blue-collar families seeking to mend marital discord, to high-power executives striving for harmony in parenting, to millionaire CEOs navigating the intricate world of dating, Adam’s profound insights and advice have proven invaluable time and again.

Connect with Adam

-Website: https://adamlanesmith.com/

-Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/

-YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBO093GsMmnA9tb8lZPhbgg

-Courses: https://adamlanesmith.com/courses/

Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship

Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance.

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