How to Own Your Sexuality and Create the Relationships You Want with Alexandra Solomon

Why is it that the person you love most can also trigger the fears you thought you left behind? What if your partner’s most irritating habit isn’t really about them at all, but a faint echo from your childhood still asking to be healed? And what if that same repetitive fight about laundry or tone of voice isn’t a sign something’s wrong but actually a sacred doorway, a classroom, for your deepest growth?

In this episode of The Language of Love Conversations, I sit down with Dr. Alexandra Solomon, clinical psychologist, Northwestern professor, author of Taking Sexy Back, host of the Reimagining Love Podcast, and the beloved voice behind Relational Self-Awareness. As two “talking doctors” who have been married for a combined 52 years, we ditch the theory and dive straight into the real, messy, sacred work of modern love.

We explore why today’s relationships demand so much more from us than past generations ever had to navigate, and why true intimacy now requires a “soul to soul” connection rooted in deep self-awareness. 

We also delve into: 

• The surprising reason relational self awareness is the real heartbeat of modern love
• How childhood wounds secretly script your adult conflicts without you knowing
• Whether some healing must happen alone or can truly happen inside the relationship
• How to tell when it’s a trigger… and when it’s genuine emotional danger
• What to do when a partner can name their wounds but refuses to change the pattern
• The exact moment your trigger gets activated and how to catch it in real time
• The hidden story your emotional pain is trying to tell you
• Why tone is often louder than words and how it shapes safety
• Alexandra’s go to regulation tools for coming back to calm fast
• How shorter, slower conversations create deeper intimacy
• The power of conscious pauses to stop spirals before they start
• How to truly witness your partner’s feelings so they feel seen and safe
• Why certain tones feel like danger and how to talk about it without blame
• Fast, body based tools to steady your nervous system in the middle of conflict
• How to offer a real, repair focused apology that actually rebuilds trust
• What it really means to be a relational leader and how to step into that role
• Alexandra’s five micro moments that instantly strengthen connection and bonding

Remember to check out her groundbreaking book, Taking Sexy Back, for a deeper dive into moving from performance to presence in love and life.

You can also explore my book, Quantum Love, for the science and spirituality behind using energy to transform your relationships.

For workshops, teachings, and her wonderful podcast Reimagining Love, visit alexandrasolomon.com.

Find Alexandra on Instagram @dralexandra.solomon for daily wisdom.

And if this conversation opened something in you, if you saw your own “relational ghost” in our stories, I’d love to hear about it. Email me anytime at languageoflovepod@gmail.com. Your story matters.

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