The Peaceful Parenting Podcast

129: Co-Parenting After Divorce with Aurisha Smolarski

Nov 22, 2023

55:49

In this episode of the Peaceful Parenting Podcast, I’m joined by Aurisha Smolarski, a therapist and author of 'Cooperative Co Parenting for Secure Kids: The Attachment Theory Guide to Raising Kids in Two Homes'.

We talk about co-parenting: attachment styles and their role in communication between co-parents, the emotional impact of divorce on kids, methods for managing transitions and holiday arrangements, and advice for maintaining a child-focused approach in co-parenting.

Aurisha shares specific tips for creating a secure foundation in a two-home setup, while also advising parents to adapt and revisit parenting plans as children grow and their needs evolve. She emphasizes the importance of self-reflection for parents in managing their own reactions and contributing positively to their co-parenting dynamic.

Aurisha Smolarski, MA, LMFT is a therapist, a co-parenting coach, a mediator, and a co-parent. She lives and has a practice in Los Angeles where she also co-parents her 11 year old daughter. She specializes in helping families navigate the complex terrain of co-parenting and build healthy, cooperative co-parenting relationships.

We talk about:

[4:55] How Aurisha got into this work
[5:35] Why she wrote her book
[12:00] Common mistakes she sees co-parents make
[15:45] What it means to put kids in the middle
[19:15] When a divorce might not be a harmonious split
[30:10] When households have different values or beliefs while co-parenting
[36:05] Easing the transition between houses
[41:45] Nesting in the same house
[44:10] Court-mandated custody agreements that have kids moving more
[46:50] Different reactions kids might have when parents split up
[50:55] Advice to her younger parent self

Teaching people how to break up or divorce well, for the sake of their children, is what she loves about her work and what led her to write Cooperative Co-Parenting for Secure Kids: The Attachment Theory Guide to Raising Kids in Two Homes. Having watched co-parents go from confusion to clarity, conflict to cooperation, and loneliness to a sense of belonging, she's honored to empower and provide guidance to co-parents so they can do what they most want: make sure their kids thrive.

Resources mentioned in this episode: