Stop Chasing Happiness and Do This Instead with Emily Esfahani Smith

In this episode we discuss happiness. Can the pursuit of happiness backfire? Why are people more depressed an anxious than ever in a time when the world is physically safer and healthier than ever before in history? We look at the crisis of meaning in our society and examine how we can cultivate real meaning in our lives, beyond ourselves, and move towards an existence of purpose with our guest Emily Esfahani Smith.  Emily Esfahani Smith is a journalist, positive psychology instructor, and author. She is a graduate of Dartmouth College and earned a master of applied positive psychology from the University of Pennsylvania. Her articles have been read over 30 million times, her TED talk has over 1.3 million views and her work has appeared in the Wall Street Journal, New York Times, TIME, the TED stage, and more.Should we be pursuing happiness?There’s more to life than being happyWhen we pursue happiness - it’s very self-oriented2 reasons why the “pursuit of happiness can backfire"It’s not possible to be happy all the time - and it’s a fool's errand to try and pursue happiness all the time - it’s not a realistic expectation for your lifeHappiness is very “self-focused” - how is this affecting ME - its a very selfish perception People are healthier, safer, more comfortable than any time in history - and yet anxiety and depression are increasing, suicide rates are increasing - why is this happening?Meaning is about connecting and contributing to something beyond yourself - being connecting to your family, to god, to nature, to the universe, etc Some of the essential characteristics of people with meaning in their livesYour life has worth and significanceYour life has a sense of purposeYour life is coherentHow can we find meaning beyond ourselves in a world where most of our major social institutions have eroded away to a large degree (patriotism, religion, family, etc)?In the modern era - the challenge of being alive is the challenge of trying to find meaning on your ownThe Four Pillars of MeaningBelonging - being in communities and relationships where you feel valued for who you are intrinsicallyPurpose - using your strengths to serve other people. Having something worthwhile to do with your time. Making a contribution to the world. Children who do chores around the house have a higher sense of meaningTranscendence - when your sense of self-starts to turn down or turn off completely. Stepping beyond yourself.Storytelling - the story that you tell yourself about yourselfHow do we create belonging in your life?Forming intimate relationships with othersBelonging is a choice that we make - and we can choose to cultivate in any given momentYou can also take the initiative to create these new types of communities within your own life and communityHow do we change the stories that we tell ourselves about ourselves?The first thing is to recognize that we are constantly telling ourselves stories about ourselvesA “contamination” story and how that can change your self-perception and create negative results in your life?Something happened in my life, then there was a negative result, not I’m “contaminated"A “redemptive” story - a story that moves from bad things happening to good things happeningSomething bad happened in my life, and that has made me grow, made me stronger If you’re telling a negative story, how do you start telling a better story?Narrative writing, journaling Is leading a meaningful life just about accomplishment and achieving results? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.