Clearer Thinking with Spencer Greenberg Bringing your "A-game" to your relationships (with Annie Lalla)
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Jun 25, 2025 
Annie Lalla, a relationship coach specializing in long-term romance, joins the discussion to unpack the essence of bringing your "A-game" to relationships. She explores emotional fitness, the balance of attraction and conflict, and how relationships serve as a gym for personal growth. The conversation touches on the intricacies of self-absorption versus codependency, along with the critical role of self-awareness in nurturing healthy dynamics. Annie also offers strategies for overcoming trauma, empowering listeners to regain agency and transform their relational experiences.
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Growth Ratchets Relationship Quality
- Moving toward balance between autonomy and communion increases self-esteem and attracts higher-quality partners.
- Growth may destabilize current relationship patterns but invites higher relational evolution.
Relationship as Emergent Entity
- Relationships are emergent systems, transcending and including the individuals creating them.
- Prioritize what nourishes the "us" entity alongside individual desires for better decisions.
Balance Nourishes Relationship Growth
- Relationship nourishment requires balancing closeness and separateness and often opposing partners’ needs.
- Acting to serve the relationship may feel uncomfortable but leads to developmental growth and increased aliveness.