A couple discusses their mismatched sexual desires and the impact on their relationship. They explore their contrasting views on sex, with one seeing it as a chore and the other feeling a strong desire. They reflect on their childhood and desire for emotional closeness. The podcast emphasizes the importance of touch and surrendering as a form of initiating intimacy.
55:15
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Quick takeaways
Creating sexual invitations rather than nightly demands can help bridge the desire gap in a relationship.
Non-sexual touch throughout the day can normalize physical contact and enhance intimacy in a relationship.
Deep dives
Mismatched sexual desire is a common problem in relationships
One of the most common issues that couples bring to sex therapy is the mismatched sexual desire or desire discrepancy. It can be challenging when one partner never seems interested in sex, while the other always wants it.
Understanding the importance of sex as an expression of love
For one partner, sex is a way to feel a deep connection with their partner and have a sense of closeness and intimacy. They believe that sex is an expression of love, and they have realized that it is more than just a physical act.
Challenges of managing expectations and avoiding discomfort
The couple struggles with managing expectations when it comes to sex. One partner wants to make the experience pleasurable for the other, but it often leads to discomfort and feeling forced. They both feel a pressure to perform, which creates tension and negative experiences.
Exploring the need for non-sexual touch and connection
The couple has started to understand the importance of non-sexual touch in building connection and intimacy. They have discovered that non-sexual touch throughout the day can help normalize physical contact, making it more comfortable and enjoyable for both partners.
They find themselves at an erotic stalemate. Married for 20 years with four children, they have lost their way with each other. He wants it all the time, and she seems to want it never. Esther encourages them to create sexual invitations rather than nightly demands.