Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel He Wants it Everyday, She Wants it Never
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Feb 5, 2024 
This episode features a couple married for 20 years, navigating the complexities of mismatched sexual desires. They candidly discuss their emotional stalemate—he yearns for intimacy, while she feels overwhelmed. Esther Perel guides them in redefining intimacy, encouraging them to shift from demands to playful invitations. The couple reflects on their journey through parenting, the impact of societal expectations, and their need for open communication. They explore how to foster deeper connections through touch and understanding, despite personal discomfort.
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Mismatched Desire
- Mismatched sexual desire is a common issue for couples in sex therapy.
- This couple represents an extreme case, with one partner wanting sex almost daily and the other rarely.
Wife's Past Compliance
- The wife reveals she went along with sex during their child-rearing years.
- Now, the husband assumes their sex life should return to "normal," but the wife's disinterest persists.
Performance-Driven Sex
- The couple defines sex as penis-in-vagina intercourse ending in orgasm.
- Esther Perel encourages shifting from this performance-driven view to a pleasure-focused one.