What Makes Someone a Supercommunicator? | Charles Duhigg
Feb 19, 2024
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Charles Duhigg discusses how to become a supercommunicator by improving listening skills, fostering authentic connections, and embracing conflict in conversations. Topics include nonverbal communication in astronaut selection, the evolution of communication mediums, and the transformative impact of researching and writing on communication style.
Recognize the types of conversations (practical, emotional, social) to communicate effectively and connect on a deeper level.
Understanding the unique rules of different communication mediums (face-to-face, phone, text) is essential for effective communication.
Super communicators prioritize deep conversations, empathy, and authenticity, creating meaningful connections and fostering understanding.
Deep dives
Understanding the Three Types of Conversations
Effective communication requires understanding the three types of conversations: practical, emotional, and social. Practical conversations involve planning, decision making, and problem solving. Emotional conversations focus on expressing feelings and empathy, without seeking solutions. Social conversations revolve around power dynamics and how we relate to others. It is crucial to recognize the type of conversation being had in order to communicate effectively and connect with others on the same wavelength.
Becoming a Super Communicator
Super communicators have the ability to connect with almost anyone and make them feel comfortable. They ask more questions, including deep questions that invite others to open up and share their values and experiences. Super communicators display empathy, authenticity, and humility. Intimidation and seeking to impose their own views are not traits of a super communicator. Understanding the unique rules of different forms of communication, such as face-to-face conversations, phone calls, or text, is key in becoming an effective communicator.
The Evolution of Communication in Different Mediums
As technology has advanced, new forms of communication have emerged, each with its own set of rules. Initially, people struggled with communicating effectively over the telephone, but over time, they learned the specific ways to engage in conversation over this medium. Similar adaptation is required for newer forms of communication, like texting or social media. While some individuals may excel in certain forms of communication, such as face-to-face or written, understanding the unique rules for each medium can help bridge any gaps and improve overall communication skills.
Challenges in Contemporary Communication
Contemporary communication faces challenges such as increased polarization and a focus on self-expression rather than meaningful conversation. Platforms like Twitter often discourage productive dialogue, promoting conflict rather than understanding. Additionally, the decline in teaching communication skills in schools has contributed to a lack of effective communication in society. However, it is possible to relearn how to become better communicators by engaging in deep conversations, asking questions, and fostering empathy and understanding.
The Power of Meaningful Connections
Meaningful conversations have the power to change everything in our lives. Whether it's a discussion with a partner, a friend, or a colleague, the right conversation at the right moment can have a profound impact. These conversations help us understand each other better, build trust, and foster deep connections. When we engage in sincere and authentic communication, we create an environment where both parties feel heard and valued. Developing the skills for effective communication can transform our personal relationships, company culture, and even the political landscape.
Becoming a Super Communicator
Anyone can become a super communicator by developing essential communication skills. Being a super communicator means actively listening, asking deep questions, and showing genuine interest in understanding others. It involves being present in conversations and responding with empathy. Super communicators strive to control the conversation together, rather than trying to control or dominate the other person. By creating an atmosphere of authenticity, reciprocity, and cooperation, super communicators build strong connections, even in challenging or conflict-filled encounters. An emphasis on quality conversations, where people share their thoughts and emotions freely, can lead to a society where diverse viewpoints are understood, respected, and common ground is found.
In Episode 353 of Hidden Forces, Demetri Kofinas speaks with Charles Duhigg. Duhigg is a Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist and best-selling author whose latest book, Supercommunicators, examines how we can all learn to become better at hearing one another and forge more meaningful and authentic connections with the people around us.
This episode will provide you with a framework for understanding the three different types of conversations we all engage in, whether we’re aware of it or not, and how this understanding can help improve your life and make you a supercommunicator.
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