275 Marriage, ADHD, and Growth: A 20-Year Journey with Kristen and Greg
Aug 6, 2024
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In a heartfelt discussion, Greg shares insights from his 20-year marriage with the host, reflecting on their journey through ADHD-related challenges. They dive into lessons learned about compassion and effective communication, particularly the importance of accepting flaws. Parenting neurodivergent children taught them the value of adjusting expectations and fostering a peaceful family dynamic. Greg emphasizes practicing grace, mercy, and proactive dialogue as vital ingredients for a thriving partnership. Their honest conversations blend humor and wisdom, making love in the face of adversity relatable.
Kristin and Greg emphasize the significance of grace and mercy in marriage, showcasing how these principles can strengthen their bond through challenges.
The couple shares their growth in communication, particularly regarding Kristin's ADHD, highlighting the importance of understanding and empathizing with each other's experiences.
They discuss the impact of parenting neurodivergent children on their relationship, advocating for acceptance and flexible communication strategies that suit their family's unique dynamics.
Deep dives
Celebrating 20 Years of Marriage
The episode marks a special milestone, celebrating the 20th wedding anniversary of the hosts, Kristin and Greg Carter. They humorously reminisce about their early years together, including a memorable episode recorded during the initial lockdowns of 2020 when they shared a microphone amid the chaos of parenting three small children. This reflection highlights their journey, emphasizing the importance of love, patience, and humor in navigating marriage, particularly in the context of Kristin's ADHD. Their banter showcases their ability to laugh at past mistakes, even regarding their own miscalculations about the number of years they've been married.
ADHD and Daily Routines
Kristin discusses her unconventional approach to morning routines, emphasizing that traditional structures often do not cater to adults with ADHD. Instead of following a strict morning routine, she utilizes a 'please don't die list' to prioritize essential tasks like eating and taking medication. However, she has found consistency through her daily habit of drinking AG1, a foundational nutrition supplement that aids in her overall health and well-being. By incorporating AG1 into her routine, she experiences a positive shift, feeling more energized and ready to tackle her day.
Communicating Needs in a Relationship
Greg shares how his understanding of Kristin's ADHD has evolved significantly over the years, leading to better communication and emotional support within their marriage. He acknowledges past challenges in their communication that often stemmed from misunderstandings about each other's needs and experiences, especially regarding ADHD. The couple highlights the importance of being willing to learn and grow together, encouraging partners to embrace open dialogue about their feelings and frustrations. This ongoing process has strengthened their bond, allowing them to approach conflicts with empathy and growth rather than resentment.
Grace and Mercy in Marriage
The hosts discuss the essential roles of grace and mercy in maintaining a healthy relationship, highlighting the need for understanding and compassion during moments of frustration. Greg defines grace as giving love and support when it may not seem deserved, while mercy involves withholding negative reactions and responses that may arise from misunderstandings. They suggest that both partners should embody these principles to foster a nurturing and forgiving environment. By prioritizing grace and mercy, they can navigate challenges while preserving the connection and love that brought them together.
Embracing Vulnerability and Seeking Help
The importance of vulnerability in relationships is emphasized, particularly for those with ADHD who may struggle to open up about their experiences. Kristin encourages listeners to actively share their struggles with their partners to foster understanding and connection. Additionally, seeking couples therapy is presented as a valuable resource for navigating relationship challenges, particularly when communication barriers arise. By actively engaging in honest discussions and pursuing professional support, couples can enhance their relationship, build a stronger foundation, and ultimately thrive together.
I'm celebrating my 20th wedding anniversary with my husband Greg by having him on the podcast today! We’ll be diving into the ups and downs of our relationship, how we’ve navigated the challenges brought on by the early pandemic, and how we’ve grown individually and together over the past two decades. So, grab your favorite beverage, get cozy, and join us for an intimate conversation about love, life, and ADHD.
We’ve both learned so much about compassion, communication, and the importance of accepting each other’s flaws. We’ve grown a lot in managing conflicts and emotional regulation, and today, we’re sharing some insights from a recent disagreement that actually showcased our improved conflict management skills.
As parents of neurodivergent children, we’ve had to shift our expectations and communication strategies. Instead of trying to force habits, we’ve learned to accept our children’s inherent traits, which has made a world of difference in our family dynamics.
Greg and I also want to offer some advice for maintaining a successful marriage, especially when ADHD is part of the equation. We can’t stress enough the importance of grace, mercy, apologizing, compromising, and making time for connection. Long-term partnerships are complex, but with proactive communication, mindfulness, and understanding each other’s emotional experiences, they can also be incredibly rewarding.