The Hello Someday Podcast For Sober Curious Women Ep. 283: Are You “Being Nice”... or Stuck in the Fawning Trauma Response?
If you’ve ever felt like you’re the one who keeps the peace, says yes to everything, earns the gold stars, and never wants to disappoint anyone—even when it means abandoning yourself—this episode is for you.
There’s a name for that pattern, and it’s not “being nice” or “just how you are.” It’s called fawning.
Fawning is a trauma response—right alongside fight, flight, or freeze—where you people-please, appease, or perform to keep yourself safe in relationships. It’s the “please and appease” reflex: managing the emotions and needs of everyone around you to avoid conflict, rejection, or harm. And for so many high-achieving women, it can look like success… while quietly draining your mental health, your self-trust, and your sense of who you really are.
I asked Dr. Ingrid Clayton, psychologist and author of the new book Fawning: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves and How to Find Our Way Back, to share how to recognize the fawning trauma response, why high-achieving women are especially vulnerable to it, and practical tools to help you set boundaries, manage anxiety, and reconnect with yourself—without numbing out with alcohol.
For the full shownotes, kindly go to this podcast episode link:
https://hellosomedaycoaching.com/are-you-being-nice-or-stuck-in-the-fawning-trauma-response/
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