#282 – David Buss: Sex, Dating, Relationships, and Sex Differences

351 snips

May 4, 2022

David Buss, an evolutionary psychologist at UT Austin and a pioneer in evolutionary psychology, discusses the complexities of human relationships and mating strategies. He dives into the biological influences on attraction, jealousy, and infidelity. Buss examines how gender dynamics shape societal behavior and the myriad motivations behind female sexuality. The conversation also touches on toxic relationships, arranged marriages, and the psychological profiles of individuals affected by societal pressures, blending humor with profound insights into human nature.

Ask episode

AI Snips

Chapters

Books

Transcript

Episode notes

INSIGHT

Sex and Violence in Human History

Mating is essential for human existence, as all our ancestors had to successfully reproduce.
Violence, particularly intertribal warfare for resources and mates, has also shaped human evolution.

INSIGHT

Unique Human Mating System

Human uniqueness may be linked to our long-term pair-bonded mating system.
Unlike chimpanzees, humans developed long-term pair bonds and male parental care.

INSIGHT

Standards of Beauty

Humans are adapted to detect differences, which plays a key role in mate selection.
Physical appearance provides information about health, fertility, and formidability, influencing attractiveness.

Get the Snipd Podcast app to discover more snips from this episode

Get the app

Why Women Have Sex

Understanding Sexual Motivations from Adventure to Revenge (and Everything in Between)

Cindy M. Meston

David M Buss

Through extensive interviews and pioneering research, Cindy M. Meston and David M. Buss uncover the multifaceted reasons women engage in sex, ranging from pleasure and health to more complex psychological and evolutionary motivations. The book delves into various aspects of female sexuality, including the use of sex for protection, status, resource acquisition, and even as a form of medication.

The Dangerous Passion

David Buss

Evolutionary Psychology : The New Science of the Mind

David Buss

The Evolution of Desire

Strategies of Human Mating

David Buss

David Buss's "The Evolution of Desire" explores the evolutionary basis of human mating strategies and preferences. Buss integrates evolutionary theory with empirical research to explain patterns of attraction, mate selection, and relationship dynamics. He examines the differences between men and women's mating strategies, considering factors such as sexual selection and parental investment. The book challenges traditional views on relationships and offers a compelling perspective on the biological underpinnings of human behavior. It's a significant contribution to the field of evolutionary psychology.

The Denial of Death

Ernest Becker

In 'The Denial of Death', Ernest Becker discusses the psychological and philosophical implications of how people and cultures react to the concept of death. He argues that human civilization is a defense mechanism against the knowledge of our mortality, and that this denial is a necessary component of functioning in the world. Becker's work challenges traditional Freudian thought by positing that the primary repression is not sexuality, but rather the awareness of death. He also explores how this fear of death leads to the creation of 'hero systems' and symbols that help individuals transcend their mortality, and how this can result in violence and conflict when different immortality projects clash[2][5][4].

Bad Men

The Hidden Roots of Sexual Deception, Harassment and Assault

David Buss

Bad Men explores the deep and pervasive nature of sexual conflict, revealing the hidden roots of sexual deception, harassment, and assault. The book, written from an evolutionary perspective, explains how thousands of years of evolutionary adaptations have shaped the mating behaviors of heterosexual couples. David Buss cites numerous studies to support his conclusions and emphasizes the importance of awareness of these evolutionary motivations to consciously correct harmful behaviors, particularly those by men against women and girls.

Bad Men

The Hidden Roots of Sexual Deception, Harassment and Assault

David Buss

The Evolution of Desire

Strategies of Human Mating

David Buss

The Murderer Next Door

Why the Mind Is Designed to Kill

David Buss

In 'The Murderer Next Door', David M. Buss presents a bold new general theory of homicide from an evolutionary psychology perspective. The book delves into the underlying motives and circumstances of murders, from serial killers to ordinary individuals who commit homicide. Buss argues that the human psyche has evolved specialized adaptations whose function is to kill, and he explains the high-risk situations that can push anyone over the edge. The book features gripping storytelling about specific murder cases and includes findings from extensive studies, including an investigation of homicidal fantasies and detailed analyses of murder data.

David Buss is an evolutionary psychologist at UT Austin. He is one of the founders of the field of evolutionary psychology. His current research is on sex differences in mate selection, mate attraction, infidelity, and the emotions of jealousy, lust, and love. Please support this podcast by checking out our sponsors:
– Notion: https://notion.com/startups
– ExpressVPN: https://expressvpn.com/lexpod and use code LexPod
– Roka: https://roka.com/ and use code LEX
– Onnit: https://lexfridman.com/onnit
– Indeed: https://indeed.com/lex

EPISODE LINKS:
David’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/profdavidbuss
David’s Website: https://labs.la.utexas.edu/buss/
When Men Behave Badly (book): https://amzn.to/3y3bRVM
The Evolution of Desire (book): https://amzn.to/3kyBdTt
Evolutionary Psychology (textbook): https://amzn.to/3LExU9e
Derogation of Competitors (research paper): https://bit.ly/38G4LMa

PODCAST INFO:
Podcast website: https://lexfridman.com/podcast
Apple Podcasts: https://apple.co/2lwqZIr
Spotify: https://spoti.fi/2nEwCF8
RSS: https://lexfridman.com/feed/podcast/
YouTube Full Episodes: https://youtube.com/lexfridman
YouTube Clips: https://youtube.com/lexclips

SUPPORT & CONNECT:
– Check out the sponsors above, it’s the best way to support this podcast
– Support on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/lexfridman
– Twitter: https://twitter.com/lexfridman
– Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lexfridman
– LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lexfridman
– Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lexfridman
– Medium: https://medium.com/@lexfridman

OUTLINE:
Here’s the timestamps for the episode. On some podcast players you should be able to click the timestamp to jump to that time.
(00:00) – Introduction
(08:04) – Sex vs Violence
(14:48) – Mating strategies
(26:44) – Social construct of beauty
(30:38) – Evolution of mating evaluation
(34:40) – Mating selection desires
(39:52) – Difficulties of monogamy
(46:16) – Importance of male appearance
(48:52) – Importance of wealth
(52:08) – Penis and breasts
(55:59) – Fashion
(58:58) – Body objectification
(1:06:33) – Wear sunscreen
(1:13:29) – Gender
(1:30:39) – What motivates humans
(1:32:29) – Dominance and submissiveness
(1:40:33) – Johnny Depp defamation trial
(1:50:24) – Jealousy
(1:58:45) – Mate poaching
(2:02:58) – Polyamory
(2:14:13) – Female vs Male sexuality
(2:23:11) – Pornography
(2:29:46) – Sex and Violence continued
(2:38:55) – Cancel culture
(2:50:38) – Elon Musk and Twitter
(2:59:02) – Serial killers
(3:04:55) – Advice for young people
(3:16:57) – Love
(3:22:57) – Mortality
(3:27:40) – Meaning of life