Friend Forward 4 behaviors that lead to better female friendships
Better female friendships are earned, and for some, may require a change in behavior and habits. As every one of us is a multifaceted, busy human being just trying their best to remain happy and have meaningful relationships, we may not notice when we’re getting in our own way. So what are some steps women can take to be better friends to the important females in their lives?
In this episode, you’ll learn:
- How to stop and notice the expectations that your friend’s life choices should mirror your own
- The importance of expressing affirmative boundaries
- How to set an expectation of direct communication
- To treat your friendships with just as much love as your romantic relationships
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- To dive deeper into these topics and more, be on the lookout for Danielle Bayard Jackson’s book debut: "Fighting for Our Friendships" in the spring of 2024.
If you’re looking to experience more joy, freedom, and depth in your female friendships, these small changes in behavior and approach to the women who are cared for in your life are game-changers. Sometimes friends must lead by example for the relationships that they want to maintain and get life from.
We Are NOT The Same, and That’s Okay
Research suggests that it IS very important for women to have similarities and symmetries in their friendships. This falls into other areas of our lives like our romantic relationships, but it is interesting to note that this relationship trait is more expected from women than men. So if this research holds, how do women determine when their female friends are no longer fitting the expected mold? Whether it pertains to their health choices, parenting styles, partner, or financial decisions, there’s always at least one moment when one must take a step back and be real – yes, my friend does have different behaviors and opinions than me. This may come as a no-brainer to most. One may think, of course, my friend can make different choices, and I’ll respect the person that she is regardless of whether we have different views. But what happens after that realization? Does one begin reconsidering that female friendship off the bat? Or maybe it happens slowly, through emotional withdrawal, pangs of jealousy, passive attempts at controlling, or underlying judgment. Do these differences begin to diminish the woman’s character? Friendship expert, Danielle Bayard Jackson, challenges everyone to stop and notice the expectation that you’re friends' life choices should mirror your own.
Express Yourself
If you’re not new, but true to this podcast, you may remember the episode, TikTok, or social posts that discussed the importance of affirmative boundaries in friendships with women. To recap, the action of expressing boundaries to people you care about can come across as rejection, and therefore cause some reluctance to do so. This is where affirmative boundaries shine – give your friends your form of yes instead of a hard, unproductive no as a response. It is possible to erect boundaries that protect your sanity while maintaining an honest and progressive conversation with your friend.
Skip the Passivity
Most women can tell when something is a little off. The ultrasensitive emotional radar begins to beep, but there’s a tinge of uncertainty that one may be reading too deeply into something, or trying to make sense of the subtext and unspoken glances, tones, and feelings. It can drive everyone crazy. One way to combat this? Nip it in the bud and be direct in asking, can we talk about whatever it is that’s going on? Best to address the situation sooner rather than later, and be upfront about the security within the relationship.
Spread The Love
Romance doesn’t have to be limited to relationships with sexual partners. Give yourself permission to enjoy those feelings of excitement, delight, and elation that your female friends bring to life as well. Try practicing direct communication in these moments too – don’t just praise her in your head or to others. Send that just thought of you text or tell that woman how much you love their look. 9 times out of 10, we all appreciate loving gestures.
Female friendships and relationships of all kinds require a level of self-awareness, compassion, and commitment to growth. Do yourself and your female friends a solid and try practicing some of these behaviors that will help nurture the relationships in your life. Rome wasn’t built (or maintained) in a day, and neither are in-depth female friendships.