Ep 361 The Enneagram, Marriage, and Finding Joy in the Mess with Christa and Wes Hardin

Zach sits down with Christa and Wes Hardin, founders of the Enneagram and Marriage platform https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/. Christa, a seasoned relationship coach with a Master's in Clinical Psychology, has spent nearly two decades helping couples build stronger connections. Alongside her husband Wes, a physician assistant in family practice, they explore how the Enneagram has transformed their 24-year marriage and parenting journey.

The conversation dives into the dynamics of Christa as a Type 7 (The Enthusiast) and Wes as a Type 1 (The Reformer), exploring how their differences create both challenges and opportunities for growth. They discuss how personality-driven conflicts, like bedtime routines and parenting approaches, can either drive couples apart or deepen connection when handled with understanding and flexibility.

Zach, Christa, and Wes also reflect on the evolution of marriage, the value of "practicing" in relationships, and what they'd tell their younger selves about love, commitment, and personal growth. Whether you're an Enneagram enthusiast or just curious about how personality influences relationships, this episode offers practical wisdom, laughter, and honest insights.

Key Takeaways

1. Enneagram as a Relationship Tool

• Christa explains how the Enneagram helps couples quickly identify strengths, shadows, and growth areas.

1. Opposites Attract—and Complement

• As a structured, detail-oriented Type 1, Wes values routine and precision. Christa, as a free-spirited Type 7, thrives on spontaneity and joy.
• They share how understanding their core motivations has helped them balance health, fun, and family life.

1. The Reality of “Practicing” Marriage

• Both emphasize that marriage is ongoing practice—not perfection.
• They discuss how "expansiveness practices" help them navigate everyday challenges, like differing bedtime preferences, while honoring each other’s needs.

1. What They’d Tell Their Younger Selves

• Christa: "Don’t put your partner on a pedestal. Love them for who they are, not who you expect them to be."
• Wes: "Focus on what brings you joy together, and you'll naturally avoid much of the pain couples face."

1. Parenting with Personality Awareness

• They share how understanding their children’s Enneagram types (a 4, 9, and 7/6) has transformed their parenting approach.

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