EP350 - Unlocking Pleasure: Orgasms, Toys, & Communication
Sep 5, 2023
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Sophie Saint Thomas, a journalist and author, discusses multiple orgasms, the diversity of sexual experiences, and the importance of focusing on pleasure beyond orgasms. They explore the role of psychological arousal and the pressure to have explosive orgasms. The podcast also touches on men faking orgasms, the use of handheld sex toys, and the significance of communication in queer relationships.
The definition of a multiple orgasm can vary, from a single orgasm that feels like a blend of several orgasms to having multiple orgasms within a sexual encounter.
Psychological arousal and context play a significant role in experiencing orgasms, with sexual encounters with new partners or in unfamiliar settings often eliciting more intense orgasms due to heightened excitement and thrill.
Deep dives
Multiple Orgasms: Exploring the World of Orgasm and Sexual Communication
In this podcast episode, host Dr. Nazanin Mohali invites journalist and author Sophie St Thomas to discuss multiple orgasms and the importance of open communication in sexual relationships. Sophie explains that the definition of a multiple orgasm can vary, from a single orgasm that feels like a blend of several orgasms to having multiple orgasms within a sexual encounter. Both hosts emphasize the need to relax and enjoy the various sensations and pleasures of sex, rather than making orgasms the sole focus. They also discuss the pressure to perform and the benefits of non-goal-oriented sex. Sophie recommends using vibrators to enhance pleasure, varying stimulation, and trying new things to keep long-term relationships exciting. They touch on the topic of faking orgasms and highlight the societal pressures faced by women. Finally, they discuss the importance of communication, exploring one's own body, and incorporating sex toys to enhance pleasure and experiment with different sensations.
The Role of Psychological Arousal and Pleasure in Orgasms
The podcast explores how psychological arousal and context play a significant role in experiencing orgasms. They discuss how the state of mind and the environment can impact orgasms, pointing out that sexual encounters with new partners or in unfamiliar settings can often elicit more intense orgasms due to heightened excitement and thrill. They highlight the importance of being aware of individual preferences and desires, noting that some people may find their strongest and most pleasurable orgasms in a secure and long-term relationship, while others may prefer more adventurous and unconventional experiences. They emphasize that everyone is different and encourage listeners to explore what works best for them, both in terms of physical and psychological stimulation.
Building Intimacy and Variety in Long-Term Relationships
The podcast delves into the topic of maintaining intimacy and variety in long-term relationships. They stress that variety and exploration are essential in keeping sexual relationships exciting and fulfilling. They suggest trying new things together, such as watching porn, incorporating bondage or sex toys, or even discussing the possibility of bringing a third person into the bedroom. The hosts also emphasize the importance of open and honest communication with one's partner about desires, preferences, and what brings pleasure. They mention the value of scheduling regular sex and making conscious efforts to prioritize sexual connection in long-term relationships. They stress the importance of nurturing the sexual aspect of the relationship, just as one would nurture emotional connection and friendship.
Faking Orgasms and the Power of Women's Secrets
The podcast addresses the topic of faking orgasms and the dilemma faced by many women regarding whether or not to tell their partners. While they encourage open communication in sexual relationships, they empathize with women who have felt the need to fake orgasms due to societal pressures and expectations. They highlight the power dynamics and societal disadvantage faced by women, suggesting that a guilt trip should not be necessary for women who have faked orgasms. They discuss the concept of women's secrets and the historical context of women's hidden knowledge and experiences throughout the ages. They stress that women shouldn't feel compelled to disclose every detail, emphasizing that men don't have to understand everything and that it's okay for women to have their secrets and boundaries.
Welcome to episode 350 of the Sexology Podcast! I am absolutely delighted to have Sophie Saint Thomas as our guest today. In this episode, we will delve into the fascinating topic of multiple orgasms, explore the rich tapestry of sexual experiences beyond the realm of orgasms, and uncover the crucial role that psychological arousal plays in enhancing overall pleasure.
Sophie Saint Thomas is a New York City-based journalist and author originally from the U.S. Virgin Islands. She is published in GQ, Playboy, VICE, Cosmopolitan, Forbes, Allure, Glamour, Marie Claire, High Times, Nylon, Refinery29, Complex, Harper’s Bazaar, PRIDE Magazine, SELF, and more. Her writing focuses on sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll as well as the occult and other subcultures.
Saint Thomas is the author of multiple books, including Finding Your Higher Self: Your Guide to Cannabis for Self-Care, The Little Book of CBD for Self-Care, and Sex Witch: Magickal Spells for Love, Lust, and Self-Protection.
In this episode, you will hear:
Understanding what constitutes a multiple orgasm
Different interpretations: blending of orgasms or having multiple orgasms in one sexual encounter
Looking at the diversity of sexual experiences beyond just orgasms
The pressure some individuals feel to have explosive orgasms during sex
Emphasis on the importance of focusing on pleasure beyond just achieving orgasms
The role of psychological arousal in enhancing pleasure
Understanding that men may also fake orgasms
The concept of women having secrets in different historical contexts
Challenges in communication with partners who may not understand a partner's needs
Sophie's advice to relax and not put too much pressure on oneself regarding orgasms