S3E7: Deb Dana on Befriending Your Nervous System with Polyvagal Theory
Apr 28, 2023
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Deb Dana, clinician and author, discusses Polyvagal Theory for navigating the nervous system. Topics include understanding biological states, co-regulation in relationships, repairing ruptures, and strategies for self-regulation through conscious decision-making.
Polyvagal theory explains the autonomic nervous system with neuroception, hierarchy, and co-regulation guiding safety and engagement.
Repairing relationship ruptures involves identifying states, making repairs from regulated space, and transforming dysregulated responses for healthier connections.
Deep dives
Understanding Polyvagal Theory
Polyvagal theory explains the autonomic nervous system with three organizing principles: neuroception, hierarchy, and co-regulation. Neuroception involves three pathways: inside, outside, and between nervous systems. These pathways determine safety or danger for engagement. Hierarchy describes movement through safety, fight or flight, and collapse states. Ventral is the ideal state of safety, connection, and organization. Regulating between these states influences overall well-being and connection.
The Impact of Nervous System States
Different nervous system states influence behaviors, thoughts, and feelings. In ventral, behaviors are purposeful and organized; in sympathetic, behaviors are energized with mobilized energy; in dorsal, behaviors tend towards collapse and disconnection. Feelings and thoughts align with the state, shaping perceptions and responses. Awareness of these states informs how we interact with ourselves and others.
Repairing Ruptures and Engaging in Relationships
Repairing ruptures in relationships involves naming dysregulations and making repairs from a regulated state. It's crucial to identify the state one is in before engaging in repair. Repair is a process, not an event, and requires willingness to find safety together. Recognizing and transforming dysregulated responses are key to fostering healthier connections.
Navigating Dysregulation in Social Interactions
When faced with dysregulation in social interactions, wait until regulated before engaging. If the other person is not in a place to receive repair, consider downsizing the relationship temporarily. Trusting that with enough regulated responses, positive impact can be made, guiding decisions to maintain healthy boundaries.
As humans, our needs for connectedness and safety run deep. Painful experiences and trauma shape our nervous systems in ways that make it difficult to truly meet those needs. My guest on the podcast helps us navigate the complex terrain of the nervous system. Deb Dana is a clinician, consultant and author of books and programs including the book Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory. She is well known for translating Polyvagal Theory into a language and application that is both understandable and accessible. Join us as we explore ways to engage the nervous system for greater wellbeing, safety and connectedness.
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