24: Existential Kink and Why It Hurts So Good with Carolyn Elliott
Jun 20, 2023
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Carolyn Elliott, author of 'Existential Kink: unmask your shadow and embrace your power', joins Kelly to explore embracing desires, healing through eroticizing past wounds, and the interplay between acceptance and approval. They discuss the importance of self-awareness and introspection in identifying unconscious desires, and the transformative power of existential kink in embracing personal growth and fulfillment.
Unconscious desires play a significant role in our life experiences and embracing them can lead to healing and personal growth.
Acknowledging the hidden appeal and erotic caress in challenging experiences cultivates a deeper level of understanding and compassion.
Surrendering to desires and embracing the journey leads to profound growth, self-discovery, and alignment with true essence.
Deep dives
Embracing Desire and Surrendering to the Unconscious
In this podcast, the speaker discusses the concept of existential kink, which explores the idea that our unconscious desires play a significant role in our life experiences. The speaker shares her personal journey of discovering the connection between her conscious desires and unconscious attraction to challenging circumstances. Through practices like Byron Katie's work and orgasmic meditation, she learned to embrace the sensation-based truth and acknowledge the pleasure derived from seemingly negative situations. By shifting her perspective and humbling her conscious mind, she experienced profound transformations, manifesting her desires more effortlessly and finding the union between her conscious and unconscious selves.
Finding Pleasure in Dark and Challenging Experiences
The podcast delves into how the unconscious mind can find pleasure in experiences that the conscious mind perceives as negative or challenging. The speaker reflects on the allure of engaging with narratives of pain, suffering, and tragedy, whether in personal experiences or when sharing stories with others. By acknowledging the hidden appeal and erotic caress that can come from these dark experiences, the speaker suggests that a deeper level of understanding and compassion can be cultivated. This awareness shifts the focus from victimhood to empowerment and allows for a more conscious exploration of desires and the dynamics of pleasure and discomfort within oneself and in relation to others.
Navigating the Alchemical Process of Desire
The speaker explores the journey of desire, highlighting the transformative and alchemical process that often accompanies the realization of desires. Whether it is manifesting material goals or pursuing spiritual visions, the speaker emphasizes the importance of surrender and devotion to these desires. While the ego's preferences may clash with the unfolding process, the speaker suggests that greater surrender and identification with the divine self leads to profound growth and alignment with one's true essence. By embracing the journey and navigating the twists and turns of desire, individuals can access a deeper level of self-discovery, union, and fulfillment.
Existential kink as taking responsibility for our experiences
Existential kink is a practice of taking total responsibility for what we experience in our lives. It involves recognizing that we are both totally responsible for our experiences and that everything is happening through us by grace or God's will. The practice of existential kink leads to a shift in our psyche and a sense of surrender to the divine flow. It goes beyond acceptance and approval, embracing a devotional and erotic energy field. Through this practice, we can explore our desires, including the taboo and the shadow aspects, without judgment. It offers a way to understand addictive patterns and suffering in a more comprehensive and transformative way.
Embracing the wholeness of our experience through integration and consciousness
Existential kink invites us to embrace the wholeness of our experience that includes both pleasure and pain, desires and fears. By recognizing that we are divine beings having a human experience, we can move beyond victimhood and see ourselves as active participants in the divine play. This practice involves integrating our shadows, engaging in parts work, and exploring the erotic dimensions of healing. The process invites us to release guilt and shame and to adopt a devotional posture towards life. It requires a daily commitment and a willingness to let go of ego-driven fears and judgments. Through this practice, we can cultivate a deeper understanding of ourselves and others, and experience greater freedom and empowerment in our lives.
In this episode, Kelly is joined by the author of "Existential Kink: unmask your shadow and embrace your power", Carolyn Elliott. Carolyn unpacks the fascinating concept of existential kink, where taking total responsibility for our life experiences becomes a transformative practice. Kelly and Carolyn explore the interplay between acceptance and approval and discover how embracing our deepest desires can lead to healing and personal growth.
Today on Reclamation Radio:
Exploring the taboo desires hidden within the unconscious mind
The role of somatic experience and embodied awareness in the practice of existential kink
Importance of self-awareness and introspection in identifying unconscious desires
Eroticizing past wounds and patterns of suffering
Setting aside shame and judgment
How embracing desires and challenging experiences can lead to personal growth and fulfillment