TPP 418: Redefining Success for Neurodivergent Children, with Dr. Emily King

We live in a society where success is often defined by external markers like prestigious jobs, academic achievements, or traditional milestones. But as parents of neurodivergent kids, we know our children’s paths and timelines often look different. And while their journeys may not align with conventional notions of success, that doesn’t mean they’re any less meaningful or valuable. So, how can we redefine what success means—for our kids and for our families? That’s one of the big questions I explore with today’s guest, child psychologist Dr. Emily King.

In our conversation, Dr. Emily and I dive into redefining success for neurodivergent students, emphasizing the importance of joy, self-discovery, and effectiveness in their learning journeys. We explore how cultural definitions of success can be limiting, what’s happening in American public schools regarding neurodivergence, and the actionable steps we can take to help shift the paradigm. Most importantly, we talk about how to reframe “success” in our families in ways that empower our children to build autonomous, self-actualized lives on their terms.

About Dr. Emily King

Dr. Emily King is a Child Psychologist and former School Psychologist who has worked with neurodivergent children and teens for over 20 years. She received a Ph.D. in School Psychology from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill where she worked at Frank Porter Graham Child Development Institute and the Carolina Institute for Developmental Disabilities. She spent five years as a School Psychologist in Houston, Texas specializing in providing school-based mental health services in K-12 public schools. Dr. Emily now works in private practice in North Carolina supporting the mental health needs of neurodivergent youth, their families, and their teachers.

Dr. Emily hosts the Learn with Dr. Emily Substack where you can find her blogs and monthly parent workshops. She is also the creator of The Neurodiverse Classroom, a professional development curriculum for elementary and middle school educators. Dr. Emily has been featured on MSNBC’s Morning Joe, quoted in The New York Times and The Washington Post, and has written for Parents.com. You can learn more with Dr. Emily by listening to her podcast or following her on Substack.

Things you'll learn from this episode

• Why the 2 key ingredients for success for neurodivergent students are joy coupled with effectiveness
• How cultural definitions of success can be limiting for neurodivergent kids, and what we can do about it
• What is the state of neurodivergence understanding in American public schools and what we can all do to shift the paradigm forward
• How we can redefine “success” in our families and for our children in ways that empower them to create autonomous, self-actualized adult lives

Resources mentioned

• Dr. Emily King’s website
• Learn with Dr. Emily (Emily’s Substack)
• Learn with Dr. Emily Podcast
• Dr. Mona Delahooke’s website
• Brain-Body Parenting: How to Stop Managing Behavior and Start Raising Joyful, Resilient Kids by Dr. Mona Delahooke
• Beyond Behaviors: Using Brain Science and Compassion to Understand and Solve Children’s Behavioral Challenges by Dr. Mona Delahooke
• Dr. Mona Delahooke on the Power of Brain-Body Parenting (Tilt Parenting podcast)
• Dr. Mona Delahooke on Looking Beyond Kids Challenging Behaviors (Tilt Parenting podcast)
• Dr. Dan Siegel & the Window of Tolerance
• Stephen Porgess & Polyvagal Theory

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